The dance was coming up and I was fading away from Jack and I really don't know why. This Saturday coming up we were planning on going to the mall to get outfits that would coordinate for homecoming.
Sammy was the only one that knew I felt this way. He has been sleeping over a lot because of his mom. My mom finds it a little bit weird for him and I to be sharing a bed, but she knows that I am with Jack so she is less worried than she would usually would be.
He always holds me tighter when I get sad about it, he twirls his fingers in my hair to calm me down when I get worked up over it, he kisses my forehead to make me feel cared for when I don't feel it from Jack. He is the best best friend a girl could ask for.
I was thinking about this staring across at Sammy's face. He was still sleeping next to me. We were so close I could feel his small breaths on my cheek. One of his arms was loosely laying on my hip and the other was holding my head close to his. I stared at his face for a moment taking in all of his features. His eyelashes are so damn long, his dimples are visible without him even smiling. I placed my pinkie in his dimple and then continued to use it to trace along his jawline. He groaned and grabbed my hand, took it and pulled it around him so we were cuddling face to face.
"That tickles", he quietly spoke into my ear. Luckily his eyes were still closed or he would see me blushing.
"Sorry", I shyly replied.
He opened his eyes and just looked into mine while making patterns on my thigh with his index finger. I closed my eyes and laid my head on his chest just enjoying this moment between us.
The thing is there can't be moments between us. Jack and I may be fading apart but we are still together. I'm still his and he is still mine.
I jerked away from Sammy and sat up right away.
"What's wrong?" He asked with concern laced in his voice.
"I- I can't do this."
"Do what share a bed?"
"Sammy, I-" I choked up and couldn't say the words I wanted to. The words wouldn't come out but the tears did.
"A, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I put you in a bad position. I'm the fuck-up don't cry, please."
He used his hands to wipe away my tears. I sat at the end of my bed and he stood in between my legs wiping my tears away.
"I'm a cheater," I whispered
"No you're not, it was a moment but we didn't kiss, we didn't do anything."
"We may not have cheated but I did. I wanted you while I'm with him."
"A, that's the thing I was so upset about, I want you too."
