Maybe I am insane (dan howell x reader)

Chapter 8. Old faces

"Your thoughts just kill you don't they, darling?"
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I was sat down in the floor, contemplating this hole situation from start to finish, but I still didn't know how to fix this. Dan still doesn't remember, Phil's gone, I barley see Chris, and pj....I miss him

My thoughts went up and down causing tears to form into my eyes, but I quickly swiped them away and tried to repress all the memories, even though it was truly impossible.

After waiting a couple hours and dreading them as they were the most longest hours of my life, Tom finally came back, without saying a word as he unlocked the cell and opened it up. He looked upset, more so looking pitiful, as if he was hesitating on telling me something. Yet I shook it off as I walked out and too the hallway.

Screams we're loud like I remember them, and I smiled to myself a bit knowing this is normal compared to the silence I would hear, Yet I was distracted as I looked over to see Tom wasn't speaking at all, his head was down and he seemed quiet.

I opened the door to the lobby and paused, my mouth dropped as I looked to see Phil sitting down in a chair, looking down at his mobile phone. He looked different, like an adult....

I ran over to him and hugged him, he looked down and immediately hugged back, without saying anything as we were in comfortable silence.

We let go of each other as the hug lasted a little longer then expected, which I was so thankful for considering I haven't seen him in a long time.

"I missed you so much-" he began to say until his eyes trailed down and saw my uniform and he took a step back, "wait- why are you wearing a patients uniform?" He questioned raising an eyebrow looking highly concerned.

I grabbed his hands and pulled him with me to a table as my eyes traveled around to quickly make sure no one was around.

"They locked me in here when everything went mad." I whispered.

His eyes widened as he ran his hand through his hair, his breath was heavy and he look at me in pity.

"Dan and Chris are here too." I whispered feeling extremely happy to see Phil.

"Yeah, I've been trying to reach Dan but he's avoiding me, he won't tell me why." He said sadly as he looked around avoiding eye contact with me.

I sighed, "well if you do get the chance to talk to him, you can't mention anything that happened with us, he doesn't remember it." I spoke seriously as I looked over at the clock along the wall, it was time for Dan to come out to the lobby soon.

Phil's eyes widened, "he doesn't remember anything?" He asked anxiously, needing clarification as if he didn't hear it right the first time.

I shook my head 'no' slowly, too shaken to say anything.

"I came to visit today, seeing if Dan would hopefully talk to me, but I'm so happy I saw you." Phil said cheerfully as he hugged me once more embracing me tightly, which made me of course hug back.

Yet we both quickly let go as we heard the door open and saw Dan walking in.

"Well here's your chance." I spoke referring to his chance to talk with Dan.

Right when he made eye contact with us he rolled his eyes in annoyance and walked the other way making phil walk after him, phil grabbed dans arm and turned him around, "please talk to me." Phil begged feeling hurt.

"No, just stop visiting." Dan said sternly as he pushed Phil's hand off and walked away.

Phil sighed, feeling terrible as he walked back over to me and rested his head against his hand feeling frustrated.

I knew I needed to say something, but what do
you say in this situation? Dans to stubborn to talk to me and phil looks absolutely broken.

"I think I'm just gonna go-" phil said until I interrupted him by saying "I'll talk to him for you, maybe I can figure out what's wrong with him." I exclaimed.

Phil gave a small smile and mumbled a soft spoken "thanks" as he gave me one more hug and walked out the door.

That was hard to watch, they've both changed so much. We all have. I put my hand through my hair, pushing the hair out of my face as I walked over to Dan and sat down next to him.

"Phil misses you.." I said breaking the silence.

He looked away from me, "I don't care." He mumbled.

"It seems like you care a lot, Dan." I spoke contradicting his point.

He leaned back into the chair and stared off into oblivion in deep thought, he stayed silent, and I gave up on it. I felt as if I've been doing the same thing over and over again. We argue and argue, I'm just done with it. It's time to except nothing's going to change, because everything already has changed. Everything's different now. I frustratingly sighed as I began to stand up but was pulled back as I felt Dan grab my arm harshly.

"I'm mad at phil because he left, I'm mad because he left without saying anything. He was literally the only person I knew here, okay?! And now when I finally meet someone else, they hide things from me, So yes, obviously I care!" He yelled, the last part referring to me. He looked at me with sorrowful eyes, making me not able to look at them.

I wanted to tell him everything, I honestly do, but it's hard to explain something he doesn't even remember. But seeing how distressed he was, I think it might be time.

"Okay fine, I'll tell you, but not here..not now." I said looking around my shoulder to make sure the area was clear, I leaned over and whispered "meet me in my cell tonight, take the keys from Tom." in his ear. He nodded and that's when I realised is was time for me to go back in, tonight he was going to know the truth, and I felt more unsettled about it then he could ever be. Yet tonight, he's still going to know.