Maybe I am insane (dan howell x reader)

Chapter 32. Watch it

"They don't understand me and you."
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I pushed Dan off of me, feeling a rage of anger running through my veins. "No! I'm sick of you and your games. How playing with peoples emotions is your amusement. I'm done. So watch it, because if you try one more thing on me I'll kill you!" I spoke taking my other gun out that was attached to my knee and pointing it at him.

His eyes widened slightly, eventually the realization of what I just said hit me. I looked at my hand, seeing what I was turning into. My mind was destroying itself. I slowly put my arm down in shock with myself. I dropped the gun on the floor and looked up at Dan. Ours eyes met, he clearly could tell I wasn't in the best mental state.

He sighed, pausing for what felt like hours. He closed his eyes. "Fine, lets go get Chris and Phil. Once we get them, you can leave." He spoke grabbing the guns that were on the floor and putting them in his pocket.

I paused in shock, "what?" I questioned thoughtlessly.

"Clearly being stuck with me isn't good for you. When this is over I'll book you a plane ticket back home. You won't have to deal with this anymore. You can have a normal life." He said bluntly.

"We don't have time to talk about details right now, let's get Chris and Phil before it's too late." He said as he walked out the door. I followed behind him, I was astounded. I didn't think it would have been that easy to leave.

...

We got in his car, silence filling the space between us as I stood there losing my train of thought. Until Dans voice interrupted me.

"Remember Felix's friends? Well there are more of them. I highly suggest that you stay here and I'll go get them.

"What? No way! I can save them just as much as you can." I spoke in an aggravated tone.

"There's no way in hell Im letting you come with me. You have no idea what Felix is capable of doing. This is a different kind of fight."

I hated the idea of Dan thinking I couldn't handle myself. He's never given me the chance to. Every single chance I had he'd always take advantage of the situation and finish things off himself.

I folded my arms and stared out the window. "Maybe if you had just went along with my original plan to kill him we wouldn't be in this mess." I spoke under my breath but clear enough for Dan to hear.

He stepped on the breaks harshly,stopping the car and making me fall coward slightly. "What the fuck did you just say?" He questioned.

I looked over at him, daring to stare into his eyes. "You heard me." I spoke bluntly.

"Fine, fucking fine. I can't believe I was dumb enough to take you with me. I should have just left the asylum without you. It would have been better for everyone." He said. His words hurt on more of a personal level. Maybe me leaving would be better for everyone.

He continued driving. The radio was the only thing keeping me distracted from Dan.

"Stop there, and let me correct it, I wanna live a life from a new perspective. You come along because I love your face. And I'll admire your expensive taste and-

The song continued, making me feel a lot calmer. Sighing as my anxiety grew. Maybe or at least soon enough this would be the last time I ever see Dan. I knew maybe I wasn't ready to leave. A part of me wanted to stay even after all I've been through. But I knew it wouldn't work out.

My eyes looked over at Dan, admiring every detail of his face as if it was the first time I've seen it. He seemed troubled, then again who wasn't? My main worry was if Phil and Chris were safe.

"Instead of staring at me, maybe you could be useful and look up where 55th avenue is." He spoke harshly without looking away from the road.

I rolled my eyes as I took my phone out of my purse and looked it up, seeing we were 20 minutes away. I preyed in my head to whatever was out there. Please....please just let them be safe.

"Take a left..." I spoke bluntly.

After driving for about five more minutes, the car began to slow down, eventually stopping itself.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" Dan yelled hitting the wheel letting out his aggressive frustration, after letting out his anger he closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat to calm down.
"We're out of gas." He said bluntly not opening his eyes.

"Do we not have that gasoline bottle in the back?" I questioned looking over at him.

"We left it in the van." He spoke in a sigh.

"So what are we going to do?" I asked in annoyance knowing we didn't have any time to waste.

"Nothing. We do absolutely nothing because we're fucked." He said getting out of the car and slamming the door shut behind him. I sighed looking down at my knees. He seemed intensely frustrated. I looked over at him, seeing him pull out a cigarette box and take one out. He put the cigarette between his lips, holding it there as he but the box away. He then lit it, you could see relief in his eyes as he breathed it in.

When did he start smoking? I questioned to myself. I've never seen him smoke before. I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. Hell, in all honestly that's the least shocking thing Dans done.

Yet I could see he was clearly stressed, he had small bags under his eyes, his hair was fluffy and curly which I knew he hated. He took one last breath of the toxic air, throwing the cigarette down and stepping on it. He took out his phone and typed something in, I couldn't tell what he was doing.

He looked up at me, then walked over to the other side of the car and opened my door. There's a gas station not to far from here. But I don't want to draw any suspicion so you need to change out of that dress. Clearly it's distracting." He spoke referring at the fact that there was a small tear in the fabric we're my thigh was.

"With what? We don't really have any other clothes at the moment." I argued.

He sighed grabbing the keys from inside the car and opening the trunk. He grabbed a bag and threw it to me, which I thankfully caught.

"I had extra clothes packed in case of an emergency, just change here and we can get to the gas station." He said demandingly.

"Could you maybe turn around?" I questioned, getting into the car and beginning to change. Dan rolled his eyes out of annoyance as he spun around like a child. I put on a black shirt and some black ripped jeans, clearly something Dan had picked out. I got out of the car and slammed it shut.

"Ready?" He questioned turning around and staring at me.

"Yeah, lets go."

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