joshifer ~ their story

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

This chapter is dedicated to @JLawKatniss16. I love her nice comment and her awesome story! :) x

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I probably stay in a random forest for hours just crying. Just letting it all out. Just letting all my emotions flow for once. I hate being stoical, I hate hiding my emotions, I hate pretending I'm okay when I'm not. I hate Matt, I hate Rhett, I hate that he lied about me. I wish things could just go back to normal. Go back to when Jen and I had fun. When we never cried, it was only laughing and happiness.

Let's say there's these two little kids. A boy and a girl. Best friends since birth. They leap and play all day, laughing together and sharing their happiness with each other. But one day, another kid comes and befriends the girl. Only this new kid doesn't like the boy, so he tells bad rumours about the boy, and the girl doesn't like him anymore and doesn't want to be his friend.

That's what this is like. It's like someone has broken apart our friendship. And it hurts. Bad. It feels like someone has taken a knife and stabbed it into my heart. Into my stomach. Into my back. I guess that's why they are called back stabbers. That's what Matt is. He is a back stabber, and enemy, a liar, a traitor. And nobody has the power to change him but himself.

I promise myself one thing: if I ever see Rhett or Matt ever again, I will beat them until they are numb. Until they are internally bleeding. Yes, you're probably thinking of how violent and evil and wrong that is. But think about it; if they attempted to kill the one you love you would be pretty distraught and angry, don't you think?

I slam my head on the forest floor, asking myself "why" over and over again until my head hurts. I've heard the term "cry until your tear ducts run dry" and now I know what they mean. I can't even cry anymore. Nothing will come out, it's just me rocking back and forth, grabbing whatever I can and grasping it until I'm sure it is hurt like me. That's when my phone rings. I didn't even know I had service here but I guess I do. I pick it up, breathing in and out deeply to try to stop my shaky breaths. I don't even look at the called ID before picking up.

"Josh?" she asks and I immediately know who it is. Claudia.

"Claudia? How are you?" I ask, trying to hide my emotions. Again.

"Josh, how are you? Your mum told me everything when I went to go see you and you weren't there. I heard about Jen, and I'm really sorry, Josh. I know how strong your bond is."

"Thanks, Claudia. She's fine and so am I."

"Then why do you sound like you've been crying."

"I haven't."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes really."

"Then FaceTime me."

"Fine."

"Okaaaaay," she says hanging up.

I wipe off my face very quickly but I still probably look like I've been crying. She always knows how to get me. She can tell when I'm lying even though I'm an actor. Soon I get a face call from her and I pick it up. Dammit, it does look I've been crying.

"Josh," she says knowingly.

"Fine," I say annoyed.

"Josh, why did you lie to me? You know you can come to me for anything. That's what friend do."

"Sorry I lied ... I just hate all the attention on me."

She laughs. "Josh, that is absolutely horrible excuse. We all know you love all the attention. That's why you became an actor in the first place."

"I hate it when you're always right."

"I am always right," she laughs and I laugh, too. "Josh, I'm serious. What's happened? You know I'm good at reading people. Especially your mum who is a horrible liar. I know there's something more than just Jen getting into an accident."

I know I can trust her, I know I can tell her everything. So I do. And it feels good to be able to trust someone. By the time I'm done, I'm almost in tears again.

"If I know anything about you it's that you love Jennifer. I've always known it."

"And you're ok about that?"

"Yes. I love you as a brother. You know that."

"And I love you as a sister." It gets quiet for a while and I pick at the lint on my jeans awkwardly. I wish she was here to comfort me in real life. I always liked it when she was there to hug me and tell me that it's all ok. She always knows how to cheer me up. But so can Jennifer.

Gosh, comparing Jen to Claudia is like comparing a queen to a peasant. Nobody can beat Jen.

"I wish you were here," I say, just to break the silence."

"Me too. But I'll see you soon, ok? I'll be there waiting for you right when you come home. I got to go, though. Love you, Josh."

"Thanks, Claudia. Love you, too. See you soon."

I'm about to click the 'end' button but she says my name. "Oh, and Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Happy early birthday." Then the call ends.

I totally forgot what the date was until she said that. I remember that my birthday is tomorrow. Tomorrow is October Twelve. Wow, what a good day tomorrow will be when I can't even spend it with half of the people I love. Like my family. Claudia. My dog. Jennifer...