They Keep Me Coming Back For More. (ATL) [ON HOLD]

Is This Really What I Want?

Hey! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. You may notice the lack of bold and italics? Yeah, the wattpad app is messing up so I have to update online. Thanks for reading, I won't make this authors note long because I know I hate reading them too.

-Shay xo

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We were now a week onto tour and it was safe to say that everybody knew everybody pretty well. Tom, Mark and Travis were now my best friends and we hung out with blink in our spare time. They gave us tips and taught us new tricks that we could do on stage. I never imagined being this close with people who I've looked up to ever since I can remember. "So you just put some force into it and swing it around your shoulders like so," currently, Mark was teaching me how to swing my guitar around my shoulders.

"But I'm afraid I'll smash it into something." I looked down at my guitar worriedly as I clung onto it.

"You won't. Do you want me to get you a cheap guitar to practice with? We have spares that we barely even use."

"That might be better," Mark smiled and went backstage. We were at the venue doing soundcheck. Yesterday we had the day off, so we were straight back into it again today. The fans had been so supportive and I had seen a few familiar faces in the audience. I figured they must've brought tickets for multiple shows. We were growing a bigger fanbase, and fast.

I was standing in the middle of the floor, waiting for Mark to come back, when I felt my phone vibrate in the back pocket of my ripped jeans. I pulled it out of my pocket and noticed a message from Alex. Sighing, I opened it up and skimmed over it.

From: Lex :)

'Hey, are you free later? We need to talk. I know Jack told you.'

Rolling my eyes, I decided I'd reply to him. I really didn't want to, but I was curious as to what he had to say. If I'm honest, I missed hearing his voice. This is the first time I'd heard from him since we both left for tour. I had been keeping in contact with Jack and the guys, as well as Cassadee, but no Alex.

To: Lex :)

'I'll see if I can find time. No promises. Honestly, I don't care if you're back with Lisa. It's your life, not mine. I'll text you when I'm free.'

I decided to leave it at that and hit the send button. A few moments later, Mark appeared with a tattered looking guitar in his hands. "Sorry I took so long, Tom lost his phone." He rolled his eyes.

"Again?"

"Yep. Now where were we?"

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"Are you ready guys? We have half an hour till people start coming in." I rushed around the bus, trying to put my combat boots on, at the same time as trying to get everyone ready.

"Yes!"

"Yep, almost!"

"I don't know." That last one came from Jason. I groaned, following the sound of his voice to find him in his bunk, staring at two tshirts.

"What are you doing?"

"Which shirt should I wear?" He whined, holding them up for me to get a better look.

"That one," I pointed to the left one which was a Green Day shirt.

"Thanks, Star!"

"No problem. Now hurry up!" I shook my head and made my way back out to the front of the bus. I heard my ringtone go off and grabbed my phone from the table.

Really, Alex. Now's not a good time to ring me.

I answered anyway.

"Alex," I sighed.

"Star, listen. It's not what you think. I couldn't say no. She made me feel bad and I... I couldn't help it! I will admit I was a little mad at you at the time, but only because I hadn't spoken to you. Look, I figure you don't have much time to talk because of how you answered the phone, but hear me out."

"You have five minutes, Gaskarth."

"Okay, well I just want to say good luck for the rest of the tour. I've been following your tweets and it sounds like you're having fun. I'll see you when you get back and hopefully we can work this out, or maybe I'll see you even sooner... Never mind."

"Hey, Lex... Who are you talking to, baby?" I heard a girls voice in the background... Her.

"O-oh... No one. Hey, I have to go. I'll talk to you later. Good luck tonight. Give em hell." Before I could respond, he hung up.

But not before I heard Lisa tell him that she loved him... And he told her he loved her.

I pushed the nauseous feeling I had aside and continued to get ready for the concert. "Star are you okay?"

"What? Oh, I'm fine."

"You were standing there for a good ten minutes, not moving at all. You look a little pale. Are you sure you're alright?"

No.

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks, Peter Pan." I winked and forced a smile, although I really wasn't happy at the moment. I wasn't sure why. I mean, I should be happy that Alex is back together with that little bit- I mean, Lisa. I didn't want to break up their relationship and it seems they've worked things out.

"Alright people, let's get moving!" I shouted and made my way out of our bus, the remaining band members eventually following. I was getting butterflies in my stomach. Although we had done this for a week, every night I would get the same feeling. Every audience is different and we never know if they're going to like us or not.

We geared ourselves up with our guitars etc and formed a huddle to complete our tradition before we went on stage.

"Star, what are you thankful for?" Jason smiled, handing me a shot of vodka. Hey, one can't do much harm. Right? A bit of liquid confidence to calm the nerves.

"I'm thankful or being here tonight with my best friends. I wouldn't have it any other way." I grinned and downed the shot, cringing when it burnt my throat. This continued around the circle, each person saying what they're thankful for and taking a shot of the burning, yet addicting, liquid.

"Let's do this!" We all put our hands in the middle.

"Three, two, one, Sweet Insanity!" We cheered and started getting amped for going on stage.

"Sweet Insanity, you're on in two minutes!" The familiar call from one of the crew rang throughout backstage. I could already hear the audience screaming their lungs out.

With the final call, saying we were on, I ran out onstage last and pushed all thoughts of Alex aside while I lived my dream.

"We're Sweet Insanity, thank you for believing in us!" I screamed into the mic, before we began our set list.