I thought about how I was going to tell our story.
From start to finish
Every detail
Everything from compliments to arguments
From the "once upon a time" to the not so "happily ever after"
Would the story be worth reading
Would I be able to do our story justice
Would people understand that our relationship made perfect sense while simultaneously making no sense at all.
I look back towards the beginning thinking it was so simple but soon it became rocky and difficult.
I started overanalyzing small details like the ellipses after a greeting, and my mind made mountains out of mole hills.
I started comparing then to now and coming up with crazy what ifs.
Then everything would go silent and my brain stopped overthinking and the gears in my head stopped overworking. I thought that was a good thing, that was until the smile on my face dissapeard and my heart started hurting.
I tried to stop thinking about going back in time and fixing what wasn't broken. That didn't last long as the gears in my head started working again.
I wanted silence, but I didn't know what I wanted.
It doesn't matter that you think everything is fine because it isn't, not until every detail has been overanalyzed.
I thought about the things I should say to make every detail come out right.
I thought about whether or not you would read our story, the one I wrote.
I thought about the smile you'd have even though I didn't say anything funny, nor did I make any jokes
I thought about the frown you would have because I didn't get any of the illustrations right.
I thought about a lot of things.
I thought about deleting everything I wrote, the good things, the bad things, the things written out of spite.
I thought about how many nights I stayed up writing
I thought about how five years ago, before we met, I would hardly ever write.
I thought about how I wish you could read my mind so you wouldn't have to read everything that I write.
I continue to think about all of these things.
Don't ask me why, I wouldn't have an answer.
My mind runs away with thoughts like these just about every night
If I had to write a story, our story, would I even get it right?
YOU ARE READING
Random thought
Poetry"You should make a book on wattpad or something called random thoughts" Random things, rants, poems, and such
