Helplessly [J.T] :AU:

•Fourteen•

Walking into the clubhouse where Jackson was made me uneasy. The thoughts running through my head of what he could possibly want to say scared me. He was already unpredictable but now he was more impulsive than he was before. I don't think anything he could say to me would justify his actions. If you care about somebody and want to be with somebody you don't mess around with another girl.

I sat in the meeting room at the table. It was the only way this conversation was remotely going to have any privacy due to the boys starting another long night of drinking. My heart stopped for a split second when I saw the white tennis shoes poke in the door. I wouldn't look at him, I looked at the table. I don't know what he's going to say but it's not going to make me any less disappointed.

"Hi darlin," he said softly as he pulled out his chair at the head of the table and sat down.

"Hi." I said in a soft voice as well.

"I know you don't want to hear an apology. It won't mean anything to you because of what I did." He tried to hold my hand but I pulled my hand away.

"You're right, an apology would be an insult at this point." I raised my eyebrows and looked at him. The one thing I wanted to avoid because looking at him would take my anger away. And it did, I wasn't angry it all turned to hurt.

"I know what I did was wrong Mel, I shouldn't have slept with that girl. Me being drunk isn't an excuse either." He paused and he looked up at me and my eyes locked with his. Tears streamed from my eyes and slammed his hand down.

"What?" I said sarcastically.

"I think I love you," he paused and I just starred at him. "I woke up this morning hating myself, I wasn't able to get you out of my head. That's why I sent Opie over to your house."

"Oh," I said lowering my gaze back to the table. I could feel him starring at me. But I couldn't muster up any worlds to say. Because how can he tell me he thinks he loves me after he did that.

"Just oh?" He asked.

"You can't expect me to believe that Jackson. You can't just fuck some random whöre and think I'm going to believe you. That's not a thing." I shrugged and wiped my tears away.

"Okay," was all he could say. I heard him choke on that one little word and I knew what was coming. I looked up and tears ran down his cheeks. Part of me wanted to feel bad but I couldn't. I got angry again.

"Don't you dare," i pointed at him.

"What?" He asked dumbfounded.

"Don't you dare sit there and fucking cry. I'm not the one who fucked this up Jackson." I stood up pushing my chair back into place. I started to walk out of the meeting room and he gently grabbed my arm.

"Mel," he whispered my name.

"What?" I whined just wanting to leave.

"You deserve better," he cupped my cheeks and kissed my forehead. Those words shot through my heart more than him sleeping with another woman. Because I knew what those three words meant.

"You too," I said throwing on a fake smile and turning on my heel. I walked out of the meeting room and straight to the bar. I grabbed a bottle of Old grand-dad, taking the Top off and tipping it up. I could feel a set of eyes on me and when I looked for them my eyes locked on Juice.

Juice took a seat next to me at the bar and smiled at me letting me know I wasn't alone. But I still didn't want to feel a thing.