Helplessly [J.T] :AU:

¤Nineteen¤

Watching the paramedics come in and lift him onto a stretcher made my heart stop briefly. They checked for a pulse and started to preform CPR. I could feel the weight on my chest. They rushed him into the ambulance and I was distraught. I was so scared and so lost I didn't know what to do. I just stood there watching the ambulance speed off as I was hyperventilating. Tears streamed down my face and my vision grew blurry.

It's like my feet were concrete because I had this immediate rush of fear that Jackson actually managed to take his own life. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I could barely hear them say my name.

"Melody let's go!" They yelled right next to me and I didn't jump, it wasn't loud at all. All my senses were dull at the moment. They dragged me to a truck and helped me climb in. After I was in the truck I realized, it was Juice who'd seen me standing there nearly in the road just frozen.

Juice sped off to the hospital as fast as traffic would allow him. And as soon as we reached the hospital the pulled straight up to the emergency room doors. In that small amount of time I managed to gather a little bit of sense into myself. So I climbed out of the truck right away and ran inside. I stopped to talk to the lady at the front desk and she seemed to know who I was here for already.

"Mr. Teller is in ICU room 114 darling." She was an older lady and gave me a tender smile.

"Thank you!" I shouted as I ran down to 114. I didn't know what condition he was going to be in but I didn't care.

I reached the door for 114 and juice was coming down the hall. I looked down at him and he sat at a bench halfway down the hall. He was going to let me see Jax first. So I slowly walked in and held my breath. When I saw him with that breathing tube down his throat I took in a sharp breath and let out a loud sob. I fell into the chair beside his bed and took his hand in mine. His hand was still faintly warm so I knew his heart was still beating. I brought his limp hand up to my lips and kissed his knuckles.

"I don't understand," I managed to mumble to him through my sobs.

"Jax this isn't fair," my crying grew louder. "You know I love you! You promised you wouldn't leave!"

I squeezed his hand and cried harder. I heard a knock at the door and it was Juice with a doctor.

"Are you Melody?" The doctor asked.

I nodded.

"Jackson's stomach was pumped. Most of the pills he ingested were gone. His heart is beating on its own but he's not breathing on his own. He's not waking up and he should be. In other words I don't think Mr. Teller wants to live," the doctor hung her head and exited the room.

I looked over at Jackson and I felt my lip quiver. I looked at juice and hung my head.

"It's not fair," I sobbed into my hands.

"I know it's not Mel," Juice wrapped his arms around me and held me. All I could think was this was it. I fucked up once and now god was going to take yet another person from me. It hurt so bad I couldn't stand it. So badly I had no idea what to do with myself.

All I hoped was that he would wake up.