Helplessly [J.T] :AU:

•seventeen•

Jax's POV:

I stood there at a loss as she walked away. I could now understand the hurt and betrayal she felt. But in my selfish mind my pain was worse that what she felt because I didn't sleep with her best friend. She on the other hand drunkenly nailed my friend. But I didn't know whether I should be mad at him or not for doing it. Then again do I even have a right to be upset at all?

Opie walked out of his room with shame on his face. I bit the inside of my cheek as he approached me.

"I'm sorry man," he said looking me in the eyes.

"Save it Ope," I said lighting a smoke.

He nodded and lit himself a smoke as well. After he took a drag I stood to my feet and drew my fist back. I connect with his jaw and he stumbled a bit. He just looked at me astonished.

"Do you feel better now?" He asked being a smart ass.

"No I feel like shit knowing she slept with you for revenge. To know she did it to hurt me like I hurt her and I'll tell ya man, it fucking worked." I took a drag off my cigarette and slowly blew the smoke out.

"Women are good at that kind of shit Jax you should know that by now." Ope said in a low voice.

"Yeah but this girl, she knows all the right things to say to really fuck with head and my heart. Tara didn't have that power. " I sighed and stared off into the distance.

"That's because you got a different kind of love for this one." He said making my furrow my brow in confusion.

"What do you mean by that?" I turned towards him intrigued by his words.

"You see you loved tara, there was a time when you were in love with her but that was when you guys were kids. When she came back into your life you loved her but not the same because you weren't in love with her Jax you just didn't want to be alone. But this girl you're in love with her like she's the only woman walking this earth. She makes you vulnerable Jax and that scares the shit out of you." Opie put his half smoked cigarette out and walked away. He left me sitting there with his words bouncing around in my head.

When I heard him leave I just hung my head, tears came to my eyes and my heart felt heavy. This isn't the kind of reality check I was ready for. I didn't want to face the fact that I was in love with this young chick I barely know. I got up and left the clubhouse. I got on my bike and rode to my house. When I got there I just went inside and turned the air conditioning on. I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling.

I pulled out my phone and shot the boys a text letting them know I was at my place, but not to come over and bother me unless it was an emergency. I didn't want to move, I didn't want to think. I just wanted to be motionless and thoughtless as if I was dead. Because in this moment my heart hurt so badly that I thought it was literally going to break.