Helplessly [J.T] :AU:

•Thirty-three•

A week from today I get released from charming county jail. A week from today I walk out scott free knowing that the club is no longer tailed by the feds. A week from today and I have to face them and tell them why I disappeared.

But today wasn't like any other day, visiting hours had just started and I was called from my cell. I was told I had a visitor, and I made my way to the visitation room but my heart nearly stopped when I looked through the glass and saw who was sitting there. His blonde hair stood out, and as I was escorted in by a C/O he just looked up at me with disgust as I was sitting down.

"Why?" He asked not even looking at me.

"Why what?" I responded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He snarled.

"Because I don't have to tell you. It was a sacrifice I made to keep the club safe. Something you failed to do before you left." I shrugged, I knew he was upset but I didn't expect him to come in here to attack me.

"How could you leave them? Abel and Thomas, all they've done is ask about you!" He finally looked at me and it was no longer a look of disgust that tainted his features, but sorrow and anguish.

"It was this, or watching them lose everyone Jax. The feds were coming mighty close to nailing the whole club. I had to be there for them because you weren't, you've had almost 6 months of them asking you that. But never once have they questioned my love. You know what I heard for an entire fucking year Jax? Everyday they asked when you'd be home and every fucking day they asked if daddy forgot about them or if daddy still loved them. And that my friend is true heartbreak." I leaned back in my chair and just stared at him. There wasn't any way he could make me feel bad. At least that's what I thought.

"I loved you more than anything, I love those boys with all my heart and the three of you are the reason I came back. I knew I fucked up when I left you. Because no matter what you were the one who always put up with my bullshit and loved me anyway. After that night I thought maybe you loved me again. I didn't think you'd disappear to the county jail." His voice cracked and his hands were shaking. My heart aches for him once again. The bitter taste in my mouth as I was trying to form words was unbearable. Tears welled in my eyes as a lump formed in my throat.

"Things change Jax," I didn't know what else to say.

The buzzer signaled our visit was over and he quickly got up to leave the room. The C/O escorted me out and back to my cell. Where I needed to sit and collect my thoughts.