Moving On

Chapter 16

"Mind if I join you?"

I looked up from the pavement to see Rico. It's weird how we both have on red tank tops and black Nike shorts. I wonder if his favorite color is red. He sure does wears it often.

"Yeah, I do mind actually, so dueces."

He put his hand on his chest, chuckling. "Dang, so it's like that today, huh?"

He sat in front of me and started stretching anyway. I'm glad he didn't just walk away from my rude ass. I guess it's just naturally in me to have an attitude. It just got even worse when shit literally went south.

I could have stayed in my room all day, dwelling on the shit that went down yesterday, but I chose to get my ass up and do something else. There's no need for me to be all upset about being slapped in the face. Shit, I've been punched AND kicked in the face, so a little slap ain't shit.

Kathleen talked all that shit about not wanting to hurt me and wanting to be here for me, yet she slapped me. That makes a bunch of sense. I guess she got mad at me for what I said, but I don't give any bit or type of a damn. She should imagine how I feel about this shit. Don't nobody wanna find out that somebody who loved them and really, truly cared for them isn't really who they thought they were!

"Sorry."

He didn't say anything, he just started stretching his legs.

I sighed while stretching my arms. "I really am sorry Rico. I've just been going through a bunch of bullshit and drama."

He reached out for my hands, so I scooted back and aligned the bottom of my Nike shoes with his, assuming he wanted to do a stretch.

He then moved closer to me and grabbed my hands.

"Kameryn, what makes you happy?"

To hide my confusion, I laughed a little. "Umm, I don't know. Food. Food makes everyone happy, right? Who doesn't like food? There's all kinds. American. Mexican. Italian. And umm... food for dogs and cats and fishes. Speaking of fishes, I never had a goldfish that lasted more than three days. But one time I had this beautiful dark blue and dark red fish. I loved it. It never had a name though. It was okay until I got this other tropical fish. It was like a teal and lime green color."

His eyebrow raised, but he didn't speak right away. I awkwardly looked around. I wonder if people passing by think it's weird that we're just sitting on the sidewalk this early in the morning.

"You... really are something Kam. But I was serious. What makes you happy? What are you passionate about? You don't have to tell me, because I'm sure you won't, but I just asked because whatever that thing or those things are is what you should focus on. Alter your anger by something you love. It's what I had to do. I would just lock myself in my room and listen to music. I would and still do listen to music a lot. I've even wrote a few songs. I love music."

He got up then helped me to my feet. Without saying another word to each other, we started walking.

Something I'm passionate about? Something that makes me happy? Something I love? Wow, I don't know. I mean, I really like music too. I used to play piano well. I'm sure I'm bad at it now though. But... something I'm passionate about? He really does have me thinking. I don't know what that something is, honestly. I'm not good at anything and I don't have any hobbies.

Everything in my life has been messed up ever since the one I love was taken away from me. He was the only one who believed and me and my dreams that would change often. Parents often tell their kids the cliche shit that they can be whatever they want to be, but I used to believe my dad when he'd look in my eyes and tell me those type of things. He would find little ways to support my dreams. When I wanted to be a teacher, he would find the time to have him and his homeboys play school with me. When I wanted to be a doctor, he bought me scrubs and fake medical equipment to play with. When I wanted to be a fashion designer, he would send me to my grandmother's house for weeks at a time so she could teach me what she knew about sewing. No matter how big or how small the dream was, my dad filled my heart with a lot of hope.