Moving On

Chapter 25

The last two months have been... interesting I guess I'd say. Well, not really. I don't know.

My relationships with people have been improving. Katherine apologized to me the day I got out the hospital, and much to my surprise she hasn't crossed me again. She's tried to be 'friendly' or whatever with me. That's cool and all, but I still won't trust her ass as far as I can throw her. It's only a matter of time before she gets jealous of something I do and starts treating me like shit again.

I don't understand why she claimed she was so jealous of me. I am nothing to be jealous of. The person who I was the closest to in this world is also the same person that I can never see face to face again. I'm not really attractive. I don't have as many friends as she has. I don't know what it feels like to have lots of family adore me. Shit, when Kathleen's parents came over here a few weeks ago, they pretty much ignored me. My 'cousins' and 'aunts' and shit spoke to me, but it was obvious that they didn't really want shit to do with me either. I guess they don't want to accept me or whatever. I really don't care. It is what it is. There was only one person I felt like I had to have in my life. The rest are optional. If they in my life, good. If not, good.

Anyway, my point was that Katherine has no reason to be jealous or to envy me. Nobody does. I've been through more in my seventeen years of living than some go through in a whole damn lifetime. It's a mess.

Well anyway, I guess I could say that my relationship with Kathleen has been improving. Seems like after she got over trying to make things work with Trevor, she started supporting and caring for her daughters more. Had she already been in her daughters' life like she shoulda been, maybe they would be all around better. Especially Katherine.

It extremely surprised me that she genuinely got upset about my situations with Dr.Reed. I guess after a few good conversations with her I just felt comfortable enough to let her know about what happened between us. I don't have to worry about him anymore. I have a different therapist, and then on top of that I wasn't the only one he was being 'friendly with in his office. I just so happened to be the lucky one. Imagine that. Me being lucky.

Just looking at him, it was hard to imagine that he was like that. Just goes to show you that you never really know how a person is until you interact with them. Can't judge a book by its cover. That's for sure.

Kathleen permanently damaged our relationship, so we'd never fully be as close as a mother and daughter should be, but we can at least be civil with each other. I used to always think therapy was a waste of time and money, but it must be worth something if I can actually get along with my family now without intimidating them.

I refuse to let anyone get too close to me, though, so I guess that's why Rico and I don't talk as much as we were. We text every once in a while, and we haven't really had a phone conversation in... shit, two months. I won't say that I'm scared or I'm worried, but he seems too good to be true. I'm really not trying to get hurt again. That's not to say that Rico would hurt me, but that is to say that I still and will always have major trust issues. It's not necessarily anything against him personally. I just know how people can be. I know he's not people though. He's only one person, so he can't be held accountable for the actions of those who've hurt me and done me wrong. I know that.

"Do you have anything else you want to say?" Dr.Gates, my therapist, asked me.

I'm really just ready to go. I'm ready to go home, eat, then go to sleep.

"No ma'am."

She smiled. "Alright well that's it for the day and the week. I'll see you on Monday Ms.Calhoun."

"Cool."

I got up and walked out of her office. On my way to the lobby, I checked my phone.

Tyree: Wassup Kam