Moving On

Chapter 21

"Your loss is clearly not the only thing you're dealing with Kameryn. You just won't express your feelings to me. I want you to be able to trust me. For the past two weeks, all of your secrets have strictly been between you, me, and my notepad that stays with me. You just don't know how many times your mom has tried to get me to tell her about our conversations, but I haven't. That should count for something, shouldn't it?" Dr.Reed took his glasses off then rubbed his face. I know dealing with me must be hellah frustrating.

He's right though. I really am holding out on him... and pretty much everyone. My life story... man that shit is... heavy. I just... I can't fully open up to him right now. I don't even really know this man. I've done good to speak on the things I have told him about already. Why can't we just focus on those things for now? It's like he's trying to force answers out of me and I don't like that shit.

"It just shows that you don't wanna get fired for breaking confidentiality rules, Dr.Reed. That's all that counts for." I slowly rubbed my right arm, clearing my throat.

He put his glasses back on and stood up, observing my body language I assume. Ugh, I don't like when people just stare at me. It's like... they're trying to judge me or... something. I don't like that.

"Kameryn. What's on your mind at this very moment?"

"How uncomfortable I feel with you staring at me with them damn ugly ass bifocals on."

"And why does that make you uncomfortable?" He completely ignored my remark about his ugly glasses.

I shrugged. "You wouldn't like it if someone just stared at you, would you?"

"Why should a pretty girl like you care if someone stares at you?" He smirked, walking over to me. The closer he got, the faster my heart got.

He sat beside me, causing me to spring up.

"Okay, what the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

"Kameryn calm down. I am just trying to help you out. Let's have a talk." He unbuttoned his jacket then took it off. Oh hell the fuck naw! I be damn if this muthafucka tries something with me. I'll kick his ass out the muthafuckin' window.

I turned to leave the office, but he got up and grabbed me. Instead of freezing up, I swung my free hand at his face then took off running out of the office. I don't really know what his intentions really were, maybe they were innocent, but all I know is my ass won't be going back in that office anymore. He started acting weird as fuck. Taking his jacket off. Compliment me. I woulda been a dumb bitch to just sit there. How can someone who claims to be my dad's childhood friend try something with his daughter?! At this point I don't know who or what I believe anymore.

I may very well just be going all over board and dramatic about the situation. Better safe than sorry though. I can't be as careless and clueless as I was in the past.

I pulled out my phone, ready to call Henry, but I heard my name being called... by Henry. I looked across from me to see him coming out of the waiting area.

"Done so soon Miss Kameryn?"

So soon? I was in the room with that damn man for almost an hour. The session was almost over anyway.

"Yeah can we just leave?!"

His bushy, gray eyebrows bunched up at me. "What troubles you Miss Kameryn?"

The fact that we are still in this building!

I cleared my throat.

"Nothing. Let's just get out of here."

At this point all I really want to do is go home and lock myself in my room. I keep on trying not to think of my past, but damn, that's not an easy task. I kinda wonder what is suppose to be easy in my damn life. Nothing I guess.

Dr.Reed made me feel so uncomfortable. Made me have flashbacks of when I was eight years old... and when my uncle....

I clamped my eyes shut, forcefully reliving that horrid moment in my mind. I never looked at Ted the same after that. How could I? The man hurt me so badly.

Thirty minutes later I walked into Kathleen's house. This time was different though. Kathleen and Trevor are arguing again, but this time I see three suitcases packed beside the kitchen door.

"I can't fucking do it! I can't put up with all the lies or the cheating. I'm leaving! You think it may be Timmy or Phil? Think? That means that their must be other niggas in the fucking picture!"

"No! The test may have been inaccurate. And they both came on to me! Wh-"

"They came on to you? What, did they rape you?! I doubt it slut! That's the only way I could forgive you though."

Ugh. Why did he have to say that?

"No they didn't bu-"

His hand went across her face. She stumbled back into the counter then slid down it, crying.

"Aye Trevor. You can be as mad as you want but you need to quit putting your hands on her!"

Why didn't I just bust the corner and take my ass up the stairs?! Probably because I know it would have been wrong. I know he must be mad, and I know she a hoe, but he don't need to be hittin' her like that. The muthafucka ain't no damn toothpick. It must hurt. He also doesn't realize that his little five year old daughter has been standing in the corner watching her parents fight. They puttin' this baby through too much. I'm sure she hardly understands any of it.

"Who are you to tell me what to do in my own damn house? Bitch you have a whole lot of nerve."

I sure fucking do! Don't know where the hell it came from either.

"If you don't leave right now, umm, I'm gonna call the cops."

He glared at me for a few seconds then he stormed towards me. I reached my arm back and whipped out a knife so fast that he almost walked into it.

"Get the hell out! Now!"

He ain't as stupid as I damn thought. He walked over to the door, got his shit, then left. I put the knife down then went over to Taylor to pick her up. She laid her head on my shoulder and started crying more.

"Ka-"

"Save it Kathleen."

I took Taylor upstairs to my bathroom to clean her face and calm her down.

"Why did daddy leave?! You promised therapy would help us! You lied to me." She put her hands on her face crying more.

Kids hear what they want to hear I guess. I wouldn't lie to her and give her false hope like that. I had a bad feeling that something like this would happen between Kathleen and Trevor. It's a damn mess. Now she may never really know who Katherine's father really is. And I kinda wonder about Tiffany and Taylor, but I'll keep that to myself.

"I'm sorry you feel that way sweetheart. Your father needs time though. He isn't gone forever. He needs a break from the situation."

"WHATEVER! Kath and Tiff are right! You are a bad person and bad things happen because you are here! I wish you would leave! I hate you!" She slid off the counter then ran out my room in tears.

I slammed the door then slid down it, with tears drenching my face. She's right. I am a bad person with bad luck. I should just leave and never come back. I ain't got no damn where to go though. I don't know what the fuck I should do. Nobody wants me around. Nobody cares about me or loves me.

This has been one long, fucked up day. I just want it to be over already. I want it all to be over already.