Brightest Stars | Love of Royals: Book I

III: Carry You

It's almost as if someone has drawn the days out to be as long as millennia. My body is itching to be free of the bed, and despite being extremely picky with my choices, Thranduil's books are doing next to nothing to help me get through these long, agonising hours. Every now and then, I'll try to move my injured leg in the hope it somehow mended itself, but every time I'm met with the same draining disappointment.

The medicines are of course numbing the pain and stemming the blood flow, however most of the hurt is psychological for me. It's a constant loss of hope, seeping out of me little by little. I can't sleep at night, it hurts so much. I'll toss and turn in my bed like a madwoman, eventually giving up and letting the nights drag on above my waking eyes. I've been here only four days, and frankly I'm not sure how many more I can stand.

In spite of all the suffering, I have been shown immense kindness over this past time. The King, having practically no one to be with most of the time, has dedicated himself to providing me with everything I need. His actions are incredibly generous, yet his words and manner towards me are as though he's holding himself back—as if he's hiding secrets, feelings, things he doesn't want me to see. I can't say I enjoy his lack of opening up to me, but it does give me something to ponder in the late hours when I'm the only elf in Mirkwood left awake.

This morning, at the dawn of the fifth day, Thranduil sweeps in holding aloft a goblet of water. After handing it to me and making sure I don't tip it, his eyes flick to the pile of books on the history of Arda—left on the bedside table, exactly where he put them the previous night. 'I see these were not to your liking...' he mutters, scooping them up and carrying them over to the table by the door. 'How is your leg feeling?'

'There's definitely no more bleeding, and the pain comes only when I move it,' I say truthfully, 'and having watched the entire history of Arda first-hand, those books are simply poor accounts of what I have already seen.'

Blatantly ignoring my last statement, Thranduil moves forward to inspect my wounded leg.  'You should not even be trying to move it yourself.' I think he's concerned. He's been wearing that look every time I speak of my leg injury.

'I know I've said it before, but...' I begin tentatively as Thranduil's eyebrow starts to raise, 'I wish to go outside. I yearn for something other than this same room, like the sunlight, the flowers, the grass. Can't I at least sit in the gardens for a while?'

'Do you want to be put on show to the world?  I'd think not,' he says, 'if you value your life, you'll stay where none of the greedy people of Middle Earth can take you away from the light.  If word gets out that there's a Star in Mirkwood, you'll be hunted by everyone—elves, men and dwarves alike, and even some of the darker powers of the world.  Many would want to sell you, for you would be worth all the riches you could imagine, and some would keep you for their own as they would be blinded by your beauty.'

'I am far stronger than you think.  Besides, I wouldn't let myself be seen by anyone untrustworthy.  I can look after myself!  I'm not just a pretty face, Thranduil!' My voice cracks as I feel my eyes prickling and a burning in my throat.  I immediately sip the water to take my mind away.

As he breathes in, I can feel he's about to launch into one of his concerned speeches again.  I've lost count of how many there have been, but I believe it exceeded the 10 mark on day three.

'I know you're not.  And yet, for a Star, a subject of Varda, watcher of Middle Earth, you have very little knowledge of this situation.  Can you not see that I am doing everything for you?  I want you to get better, complete your task, and return to that precious home of yours which you take for granted beyond anything else I've seen.  I have my own wish, but I have put that aside to help you.  My kindness has been rejected many times, and my heart has taken too many blows that I care to mention from the petty feelings of elleths, but you of all people could at least recognise that I want nothing but good things for you?'