Brightest Stars | Love of Royals: Book I

XIX: Return

Yes, I had an idea.

No, I'm not telling Gelya about it.

Therefore, I decided to wait a few hours before returning, on my own, to the clearing. It's barely late afternoon, and already the shades of dusk are beginning to seep into the otherwise pale blue sky. I did weigh the risk of doing this before I launched right into it, of course, but in the end, my intentions seemed worth any threat the elves in this kingdom might pose. Despite me wishing to keep its use to a minimum, I do now have a method of self defence, which I could use if absolutely necessary.

The statue of Ellerian is right where I left it earlier, her face now exposed to the open air. I take a moment to study her, observing the very well-preserved details of her face; almond-shaped eyes, high cheekbones, and rather full lips. If this representation of her is at all accurate, then the real life Ellerian was very pretty—pretty enough that I understand why Thranduil fell for her, that is. I have a feeling this statue was made quite early on in her reign, before the madness sunk in. Surely the burdens she bore would have shown on her face, especially after the poisoning.

I begin, once again cautiously avoiding thorns, to clear away the mass of tangled greenery surrounding her body. Soon I uncover parts of a dress with an elegant collar, and not long after that some slender arms with dainty cuffs, most likely made of lace on the real thing. As I continue, I notice how delicate Ellerian's build was, which would have only increased in frailty as time went on.

Her hair was longer than mine, and straighter; to my disgust, I find myself wondering how I compare to her. Am I anywhere near as beautiful as she was? Did he like her kisses more than mine? Was I a fool to think I could ever replace her?

I am certainly a fool for pondering these things. That's not what I came here for. I'm clearing this statue for Thranduil—if he ever sees it—and for all the elves in this realm who treasure her memory. Thranduil would want that, would he not?

The process of removing the foliage is painstakingly precise, requiring expert manoeuvres from my hands in order to get through the barriers of thorns. Time, however, seems to pass by me like a breeze, and leaves the twilight to greet me with a twinkling glimpse of my home all those miles away. The return of elenath is something I look forward to every day, since the shred of solace I get from it is one of the few consistent comforts in my time here.

Proudly, I step back to admire Ellerian's statue in all its glory, now devoid of all vines and leaves. The moonlight behind her seems to frame her head, as if trying to light up her crown.

Footsteps along one of the paths send my heartbeat racing. Instinctively, I tiptoe hurriedly into the shadows at the opposite end to where the sound originated, taking care to completely submerge myself in the darkness. The owner of the footsteps soon comes into view, his platinum hair shining ethereally in the starlight.

Upon seeing Ellerian's statue, Thranduil lets out a gasp, and straight away begins to survey his surroundings. I hold my breath. His gaze turns right past me, and as he presumes the person who cleared the statue has long since departed, he walks closer to the statue and reaches out to touch one of the hands.

'Who did this?' he breathes slowly, running his hand across that of the statue. There's a moment's pause, during which the silence swallows me whole. Then Thranduil speaks again, looking Ellerian's statue in the grey stone eyes. 'Would you be ashamed of me if I went back to her?'

Something catches in my throat. He can only be referring to one person.

'I love her, and yet I let myself ruin what we had. I ruin everything, don't I, Ella?' Thranduil then scoffs under his breath. 'If I went back to her... would she accept me again? Would she even let me explain everything to her?'

I want to run out to him, tell him I would, tell him I love him too... but my feet seem rooted to the spot. I'm compelled to stay and watch on the sidelines, despite my heart screaming against it. I cannot go back to him. I am a Star. That's not what I'm supposed to do.

Thranduil's voice begins to waver. 'Perhaps—perhaps I don't deserve this life—' he starts to sob, hiding his face under one hand, 'please... take it from me.'

'No!' Unable to stop myself, I run out into the light. I can't bear to see him like this a moment longer. 

Thranduil whips around, exposing a tear-stained face, which only breaks my heart even more. 'Elena?' he says almost disbelievingly.

'I did it,' I confess, walking up to him, 'I cleared her statue.  I found it covered in vines and thought you'd want it to be freed.'

Thranduil's eyes fill with that same loving look he used to give me, except this time, it's as if there's a glimmer of hope in there too.  'I used to come to see it, in the early days after her death.  It was a way of speaking to someone when I had no one else.  Eventually I broke out of the habit.  It was partly hidden in vines the last time I came, which was over a thousand years ago.'

'Why did you come today?' I ask softly.

'If you were hiding over there the whole time, you would know most of it.'  He seems to fight back the sad smile attempting to appear on his lips.  'But since we were apart, I had no one else to go to.  It's pathetic, really.'  Scoffing under his breath again, Thranduil's gaze sinks to the floor.

'I did hear everything,' I begin uneasily, still frightened of the possibility of another diary episode, 'which is something I've been rather good at, actually.  And I knew I could never stand by and watch while you spoke of ending your life.'

'There's so much I could tell you,' Thranduil sighs, 'so much I should explain to you—'

'It's the same on my part,' I answer, driven by a new idea igniting in my heart. 

'I must ask you one question.'

'What's that?'

'If you can walk... why are you still here?'

As he locks eye contact with me, I find myself accepting my idea.  It could work—if Thranduil feels the same, that is.  'I care too much,' I say simply, 'about you, about Gelya, about all that has made me feel happy here.  I'm confused and conflicted and frightened, and every day I know I should leave but I still can't bring myself to.'

Thranduil pauses, as if he cannot find the words. Then he slowly extends his arm towards me. 'Walk with me, Elena.'

I slip my hand into his outstretched one, and he holds it, gently stroking it with his thumb. A surge of hope seems to flow through both of us—I can see it getting stronger in Thranduil's piercing eyes.

'Tell me everything,' he says kindly, as we begin to walk away from the clearing, Thranduil leading me off into the darkness.

***

Elvish:
Elenath = all the Stars in the sky