Thin Ice

"Are you okay?"

       On the 3rd day of being sick, I started feeling a lot better. Of course I still felt a little off, but that's because I hadn't eaten. I woke up to the sunlight peaking through my bedroom blinds. My arm was really sore, but if I took more painkillers, I'd get sick again. I heard my door crack open, and my mom was standing there. "Goodmorning, sweetie." She walked over to my bed and sat down. "How are you feeling?" She felt my forehead, then ran her fingers through my hair. I gave her a small grin. "Well your fever is gone, so maybe you'll get up today."

       Within an hour, I had gotten up, hopped in the shower and ran around the block a few times. I got a text from Jake to meet him and Emily in their alley. I didn't think Emily knew I was coming, because when she saw me step into the alley, she came running at me. "Aeron!" She ran and hugged me, it was only a few inches of a different, but I still felt extremely short. "Are you okay?" I didn't know what she meant, because I had been feeling a lot better. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" She took another look at me. "You look... thinner than usual." I wrapped my arms around my stomach to hide that fact. "It's nothing, just haven't been eating much lately." She stopped me from walking, and put her hands on my shoulders. "Aeron, you know you can talk to me. If something is bothering you, you come to me." I swallowed. "Okay." We kept walking.

"Why haven't you been eating?" I put my hands in my sweatshirt pockets. "I don't know, I just." I bit my lip. "I think I'm fat." Jake was still shooting around a basketball. "Why the fuck would you think that?" Emily didn't swear that often so this kinda scared me. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, but I quickly wiped it away. "I uh, I don't know. Maybe It's because of the shit other people say." Emily stopped me again, She put her hands on my shoulders. "You're skinny, okay? You've never been fat, and I really don't think you ever will be. So don't even think for a second that you're fat."

I finally looked up at her. She rubbed a tear off my cheek. "No promises." She pulled me into another hug. She slowly moved her hand up and down my back. "It's okay." She said to me as I sniffled. "It's just so hard." I didn't cry, I just rested my head on her shoulder. I felt really tired, like I could have fallen asleep there. "I'm sorry." I whispered to her. "Don't be." She replied back.

       She brought me over to Jake and didn't say a word about what happened back there. "Hey man, I haven't seen you in forever!" He observed me quickly. "How much weight have you lost?" How could he tell? I was wearing an overgrown hoodie and shorts, but how could he tell? "I uh." My chest felt really heavy. "I lost about 20 pounds-" they both froze, Jake stopped bouncing the ball. "Shit." They both just starred at me. God, I hate it when people look at me. "It's nothing, I'm fine." I crossed my arms, to hide my stomach again.

"What happened to your arm?" Emily asked me, assuming she wanted to change the subject. It still hurt, but that's because I hadn't taken my pills. I didn't want to be laying around all day, when I could be losing weight. "I uh, fell down some stairs." I let out a small, yet fake, laugh. "But really, I'm fine." I said it again. I keep lying, not only to them, but to myself.