Thin Ice

Driving

The drive from Illinois to Michigan was around 2 1/2 hours and it was boring as fuck. My mom kept trying to start a conversation with me, but I had my headphones in and I really just wasn't in the mood. Getting in the car, my mom needed to help me put my bag in the trunk. I was too weak to lift it. Too, too weak. I was useless, worthless. I felt sick the entire way there, but I didn't know why. At one point my mom put her hand on my forehead and cheek and said "you feeling okay, Aer? You're looking a little pale." I lied to her when I said "yeah, just feeling a little car sick." My mom knew that wasn't the case. "Do you want me to stop? Do you think you're going to be sick?" I shook my head. "I just want to close my eyes." Looking back at that day, I wish I had closed my eyes and never woke up.

I was scared half to death when my mom woke me up. "We're here, sweetie." I had completely forgotten how everything looked. Nothing had changed in the past year. When I sat up, I grunted because I had a horrible headache. "What's wrong?" My mom asked as she was unloading the car. "Migraine." She knew I was tired and weak. She came around to the other side of the car and picked me up. How could she lift me? It surprised me, considering how heavy I was. I wrapped my arms around her and placed my head gently on her shoulder. I felt like a kid again.

She walked me into the house and through the kitchen, where we were greeted by Emily's mom. She hadn't seen me in months, she didn't even recognize me. "Is that Aidan?" She thought I was my brother from the back. "No, it's Aeron." My mom tried to laugh it off. "What?" Emily's mom didn't believe her, until she saw my face. "Oh my god, Aer, I'm so sorry." She laughed at her mistake, I didn't find it funny. "Aeron has a headache and just isn't feeling great, would it be alright if he laid down for a bit?" She showed my mom where the room me, Emily and Jake were staying in was. "Does he want any ibuprofen or Advil?" The words could barely escape my mouth, when I softly whispered "yes please." I then took the pills and left.

The room had a single bed and a bunk bed. My mom placed me on the top bunk, since that's where I normally sleep when I'm here and I still couldn't get over the fact that she carried me for so long. She ran her fingers through my hair for a minute, I smiled at her. "Mom?" I hesitated to ask her, but I really wanted to know. "Yeah?" I looked away for a second, then looked back at her. "Was I too heavy?" I laughed to stop myself from worrying and to prevent her from starting to worry. "You? Too heavy? Never." I gave a little grin at her, just to assure her that nothing was wrong. "You've always been so tiny, so perfect. You never have and I doubt you ever will be heavy." I didn't believe her. "Are you j...just saying that because you're my mom?" She kissed me on the forehead. "Of course not. I'm saying it, because it's true." I still didn't believe her. I'm fat and she knows it, she's lying to me. Why is she lying to me?