Thin Ice

Bonfire

I woke up, dazed and confused. My phone read 6:57pm and there was a text from my mom saying "In case you come looking for us, we're down by the lake." It's about time I tried socializing. I got up, then looked in the mirror to fix my hair. My hair always flowed to one side, like if I shook my head to one side, it would go to that side. I ran my fingers through it, then threw on a hoodie to head down by the lake. It definitely wasn't cold out, but lately, I've been cold constantly.

       I shuffled my feet up the stairs, then throughout the house. It was quiet. Too quiet. I hated the silence. Just before walking out, I caught a look at myself in a mirror one more time. I noticed how pale I was and how much the dark bags under my eyes stood out, drawing more attention to my green eyes. I hated everything I saw in the mirror; mostly just how the sweatshirt made me look twice as big as I already was. I forced myself away from the mirror, before I beat myself up over my looks.

       I started walking down the steps leading to the lake, only to be brought into a giant hug by Jackie, Jake's mom. " 'Aer-Bear,' how're you feeling?" I hadn't seen Jackie in forever, I missed her so much. "Better, but not too bad." Jackie is like my second mom and I've known her since forever. Sometimes, I felt more comfortable talking to her, than with my own mom. It's just easier talking to someone you don't live with, because you don't have to face them everyday.

       "Jake, cut it out!" Emily yelled as Jake threw a handful of sand at her. She threw one back at him, then they both laughed. I couldn't help but laugh too. I snuck up behind Jake and dropped as much sand as I could hold in the back of his shirt. He turned around, surprised to see me and said "Oh, you're so dead, Coleman!," then picking up another handful and chasing after me. I had no where to run but the dock, and that was a dead end.

       "Jake, you don't have to do this, we can talk about this." I said to him, inching closer and closer to the edge. "Talk about this? You poured sand down my shirt, we're not even yet." I was on the verge of falling into the lake. "Come on Jake, spare me one." I pleaded, knowing how much colder I'd be once I fell into the water. "Get him, Jake!" I heard my mom yell as he got closer to me. I prepared myself for the worse. His hand went up, and all I could mutter was "oh shit!" While covering my head with my hood as quickly as possible. He laughed "now we're even."

       After a while, the sun started to go down and the moms headed back up to the house. Jake, Emily and I stayed and sat around the fire. Emily got up and wrapped her arms around me for a minute. "So, where have you been? We've missed you." Emily said to me. "I missed you guys too." It would have been kind of difficult to explain to them how I've been getting abused by my uncle and starving myself for the past few months, so all I said was "just a lot has been going on lately, that's all." They weren't buying that.

       I knew it would get brought up eventually, but I wasn't expecting it when Jake asked "how's your diet going?" Diet? No. Definitely not a diet, but I didn't say that. "It's uh... it's going." To be honest, I didn't really know how to answer his question. "What's your goal? I mean, why are you even dieting?" I turned away from him, so I didn't lose my shit. "Can we talk about something else?" I pleaded them. "We're worried about you, Aer. You look sick." Emily said to me. They both looked worried. "Aeron, we just want to help." Jake said as I grew more nervous. I stood up and started walking closer to the water. "I don't need your help, I'm fine!" They immediately followed, probably worried that I would do something stupid. "No. No, you're not." Emily put her hand on my shoulder. She turned away for a second. "For God's sake, Aeron, you look like a skeleton!" She started tearing up. I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach. I hated seeing people cry, especially when I know that I caused it. "Don't cry. Please, don't cry." I rushed over to her and wiped her tears, but she immediately backed away. "I uh... I think I'm just going to go up to the house." And just like that, she left.

       I sat on the end of the dock, feeling absolutely awful about what just happened. Jake walked over and sat next to me. We didn't say anything for a minute, until I decided to break the silence. "I had to stay with my mom's stepbrother for a little while, while she was getting her shit together." I couldn't bother to look him in the eye. "He picked on me all the time. One day, he said that I was getting fat and that's when I stopped eating." I looked down at the water below us, Jake didn't say anything. "At first, I was just cutting my meals in half, then I started running. After I realized that wasn't working, I started making myself sick after every meal I ate. Soon enough, I dropped thirty pounds. My mom was the first to notice, then Aiden, then Jenna. None of them could help me." I finally looked up at him. He looked nervous for me and my well-being. "I don't think anyone can."