Get Ready to Run

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

We all have fears, whether they're big or small, they're there taunting at us. Mine happens to be the fear of forfeiture. I live in a constant state of fear and wonder of one day being deprived of everything important to me.

My dad for one. Not in a million years did I think he would one day be gone. That one day he wouldn't be there to see me graduate high school, or see me go to college, or walk me down the aisle, see his grandkids grow up.

Then there was my mom, who left us. Our backbone when my dad died, gone. She chose to leave. I knew I wasn't to blame for her absence, but the hurt and abandonment never really goes away.

Besides my little sister, all things that mattered to me were suddenly being pulled right out from under me in the blink of an eye. I wouldn't say I'm a saint or anything, but I didn't deserve those things to happen to me, no one does.

Since then I've had to learn to be my own back bone and be the only one I can trust. But, just like my dad, I tend to let my emotions take over and sometimes it only leads to me getting even more hurt. But I guess that's life for you, right? You fall on your face a couple times, or at least in my case several times, and you get right back up. Only the getting back up part is what I've had trouble with. I fell on my face with Tyler,  and rather than getting back up, I pushed him away. I push away anything and everything good that comes my way. Why? Because I'm scared that once I have everything, when I'm feeling truly content in life, it'll all be taken away from me, again.

These are the things going through my head as I sit and watch my little sister unwrap her presents. This beautiful little girl, who's been through so much already, looking happy, not having a care in the world. Then again I guess being happy and being naive go hand in hand.

She deserved to be happy though, more than anything.

She got a lot of things, but I was still holding off on giving her the last one. I knew it would mean a lot to her but it was one of the hardest gifts I've ever had to give.

"Hail, I've got one more for you." I said.

She quickly got up from the floor and came to me. "What is it, what is it?" She said, her hands placed on my knees, jumping up and down.

I pulled a small square box from behind me, wrapped with a cute, pink, little bow, and handed it to her.

Without the slightest hesitation, she pulled the bow off and took the lid off the box. After removing the thin layer of tissue paper covering it, she stayed still, staring at her gift.

"Is that-is that mom?" She said, looking up at me.

She looked like she was about to cry and that was the last thing I wanted her to do.

I pulled her close to me and lifted her so she was sitting on my right knee so we were both looking into the box.

"That's mom and you." I said, picking up the delicate locket.

It was a silver and gold locket. Where the actual picture lay, was all silver, but that part that kept it safe, was a golden lid with a carving of a tree with a heart in the middle. The carving of the tree allowed you to just barely see the picture inside, it was different, but beautiful.

Hailey took the necklace from me and examined it herself. "Is that really me and mom?"

Her eyes never left the picture, she was entranced by it. I don't think she so much cared about herself in the picture, but of our mom. She looked beautiful, young, and what strikes home the most is how happy she looked.