Get Ready to Run

Chapter Twenty Three

Chapter Twenty Three

 

*CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT*

I sort of hate the expression "Listen to your heart". Not because the literal meaning of it is illogical but mostly because of the idiotic metaphorical meaning.

See, even as a little girl I always gravitated towards logic, which is surprising considering I often let my emotions run high, nevertheless I seem to think before I act. You'd think that would be the way to make wise decisions that you're likely not to regret later on, but no not even close.

My "heart" was telling me to go after Tyler and explain everything, reassure him, but logic was overriding and telling me the right thing to do was to explain things to Aiden.

So tell me, why did it feel so wrong to be standing in front of his door when my mind was nowhere near to tell me I was doing what I was supposed to?

But here I was, head slumped, knocking on his door.

After a few minutes of waiting with no answer I brought my hand back up to knock again but the door was briskly opened before my hand could make contact with the door.

"What?" Aiden asked, not looking the least bit pleased to see me.

Maybe I should have given him time to cool down before I came but I couldn't sit in my room deliberating who I should apologize to first and once my mind was made up, I grabbed my keys and came straight to Aiden's.

"Can we talk? Please." I said, pleading.

As much as I felt like I should be apologizing to Tyler first, I still owed an apology to Aiden. He was my boyfriend after all and he didn't deserve this. He deserved my whole heart and I knew it would be difficult to give it to him when a part of it still belonged to Tyler but I had to try.

He didn't say anything simply moved out of the way to let me in. We walked over to the living room where he sat down on the couch staring at the wall as I stood in front of him trying to get his attention.

I opened my mouth to say something but quickly closed it when he spoke first.

"You still like him don't you?" He asked, ignoring my presence.

"Still?" I asked, slightly puzzled.

"I'm not blind Sawyer." He said, looking my way with a stern glare on his face.

"Well you kinda are. You do wear glasses." I joked, which turned out to be a dumb idea.

He rolled his eyes and stood up from his seat and began to walk away. This time I ran after him and caught his arm, stopping him. I turned him around trying to grab his attention before walking away again.

"Okay I'm sorry. Please just let me explain Aiden." I said seeing his eyes soften.

We came back to living room but this time I sat with him.

"Okay, explain then." He said.

I took in a deep breath and let out an audible sigh. "You're right. I did like him. We had a thing going on before I ever even met you but I ended it as quickly as it began." I explained.

"You said 'did' as in past tense, but from what I keep seeing your feelings for him aren't a thing of the past but the present." And the angry stern look returned.

I grabbed his hand with both of my own and played with his fingers, needing to feel a part of him to reassure myself.

"Aiden, I'm not going to lie to you. I still have feelings for him, I do. But that doesn't mean I'm acting or will act on those feelings. I chose you. It's only difficult to get over it because I live with him for God sakes but I've moved on and so has he. I promise you that nothing is going on with him." I said, and for the first time I actually believed my own words. Tyler moved on and so have I, but now it's time to let my feelings move on too.