Life Is An Adventure

Match

Why can't who I am on the outside
Match who I am on the inside
Why doesn't 1+1=2
Am I missing a variable
There's something I can't seem to find
I think my puzzle is missing a few pieces
Why can't people see me
The real me
What I'm supposed to be

Can't they see
The facts are killing me
Am I even human
According to so many of you
I'm just a stupid train
Well cho-cho
What a funny concept
Here I was
Thinking I was human
I'm so glad you set things straight

I may be a bit broken
I may be missing a few pieces
I may have a few lose bolts
But I'm still human
So why treat me any different
Just because
my insides don't match my outsides
And
I fall in love with the wrong kind

Maybe I'm really fucked up
Maybe that's why
Why you can't treat me like everyone else
According to most of you
I'm just a mental case
But aren't we all
I mean when it comes down to it
Aren't we all pretty fucked up

Do you hate me for having a brain
That's ok my brain is against me too
Do you hate me for having emotion
That's ok I hate having emotion
Because if I didn't have emotions
Then maybe all this wouldn't hurt so much

Do you hate me for being myself
Well then
Kill me
One less problem for the both of us

Hey, everyone will consider you a hero
Yeah, you know they will
You defeated the evil monster
The monster that set bad examples for children
By being their self
You defeated the evil monster
The one that disrupted the peace
Well it didn't even have peace in its own mind
Guess there's no chance for this monster
To be happy
Or even stay alive
Because it's not really living
When you are set apart by society
Just for being yourself

If you want me to stay alive
Give me a reason to survive
Yeah
That's what I thought
None of you really care enough to save me
And now you all have proven it
Proven it to be a fact

Well nothing is alright
It's all wrong
I shouldn't be like this
Who am I
Who I am inside
Just doesn't match up
To who I appear to be 
I shouldn't be like this

Nobody knows how hard it is
To look in the mirror
To change my clothes
To take a shower
To fill out a form
That asks for our gender

No one knows how hard it is
To not be what I'm supposed to be
To know I won't be accepted

Oh family
You all said you would love me no matter what
But that's as long as I keep up an image
An image of what you want me to be
You will love me
As long as I stay they way you want me to be
But you don't really love me at all
Because you don't even know the real me
And you'll love me
As long as I'm not trans and bi
Isn't that right
Yeah
That's what I thought
Oh well
I guess we're all at a loss here
I lose my family
And you lose who you thought I was
At least you love
Who you think I am
For now
Till you know the full story

I can't escape myself
Trust me if I could I would have long ago
And I want you all to know who I am
But I'm afraid
I mean really
Can you blame me
With how this world is
And I know that none of you are willing to try
Just try
Just try to understand
I know you won't try to see my point of view
And the facts kill me

I know you'll
continue to pull me in two directions
Until I brake
Break into one million pieces
For now I'll slap on a fake smile
I'll smile and laugh
For all of your sake
And I'll try to get used to it
Till I'm free from your grip
After all
You would think I've become accustomed to it
I mean it's been my whole life
So what's a few more years
A few more years of Hell
A few more years that I can't be myself

                                                              Kayla Worley