Life Is An Adventure

Fool

I knew you were no good for me
But I listen to your words
I didn't give them much thought
I wanted to be loved
So I ignored what I knew
And I ignored my brain
I became your fool
I let myself fall
You said you'd be there to catch me
But I came crashing down
You moved out of the way
And laughed when I got hurt
I knew I shouldn't have trusted you
Over and over again
You gave me reasons not to trust you
But I let you hold my heart
You stole it
You crushed it
You gave my hearts broken pieces away
I trusted you
I know now that was a mistake
I think I knew it then
You led me on
Pretended you cared
Pretend you loved
Pretend I was your only one
You let me believe I was special
That I was important
But it was all just a part of your game
You had ways of getting whatever you wanted
And you knew I would give you anything
You wanted more than my love and affection
You wanted more than my kindness
You wanted more than just my heart
It was never enough
You took over my mind
I knew I shouldn't have let you in
I knew it from the start
I knew I should have used my head
If only for a second
Because you wanted all of me
And you always get what you want
You knew just how to play me
I said no at first
I should have kept up my walls
But you played mind games
You played with my heart
And you played with my emotion
It became easier to give in
I had given up
You broke me
And stole my pride
I ignored the facts
they were right in front of me
But I choose you over myself
And even still
I was never enough
I was trapped
But I knew I locked the door myself
I gave you the key
It was too late to change my mind
I knew it then and I know it now
One mistake after another
And none of it is worth the price I pay
If only I could go back in time
Silly girl
I know you laugh at how easy it was
Silly fool
You didn't even have to try
I let you change me
Locked myself in Hell so I could be with you
But it was still never enough
I would change everything
If I could go back in time
But I can't
You said you would respect my wishes
You said you understand my feelings
You said you loved me
But your a lier
And it was all part of your game
You said you cared about me
You said I was the only one
It was all a lie
And I was your fool
I know it now
And I knew it then
I learned the games you were playing
But I still loved you
So I happily played along
I was your puppet
But I tied the strings to myself
And now I can't get away
As you manipulate me
And all your other puppets
But I still care about you
And I can't stop loving you
So I protected you
I still tried to talk to you
As you turned your back on me
I still wanted to be yours
Even though I knew the truth
Even though you broke me
I still wanted to believe all your lies
I was still looking for an excuse
That would make it ok
All the things you did to me
But now that you got what you wanted
It still wasn't enough
So you broke me
And left me in the dust
Crying myself to sleep for months
Now my self esteem
is lower than you dragged me
And I know you don't miss me
now that I finally got away
But I can't get you out of my head
And it takes all I have left
Not to cry every second
And not to try to chase you
Because I know you were no good for me
And I don't need your toxic energy
But now that you hurt me
I hurt myself more than ever before
Just to try to cope
I just keep trying to move on
But I take two steps forward
And five steps back
I try to be ok
But you still have my heart
I see you giving my love to many others
It breaks me a little more everyday
I cry myself to sleep
I can't stop thinking about you
I miss you
But I really just miss the thought of you
Because I hate the real you
I feel like I need you
I still want you
I know you'er not good for me
I often hope you will change
And we can start again
But I know that won't happen
And I won't make the same mistake again
I know I shouldn't love you
But truth be told I do
And truth be told
I'm not over you
I hate you
And most of all
I'll never forgive you
And I can't forget you
But I can granite one thing
I gave you way to many chances
And you won't be getting any more
I'll drown in my tears
Before I ever come crawling back to you
I may be broken
But this is not the end
I will feel again

                                                              Kayla Worley