Private Eye

Chapter 4

“Uhmmm... it was his birthday... we had an argument.... we weren’t okay.... and then... just the next day, I heard that he’s already dead.... that his body was found in a hotel covered with blood...” she uttered.

 “After that... I started blaming myself. I feel guilt. I blamed myself why I didn’t answer any of his calls. I blamed myself why I didn’t reply on any of his messages. If only I was more understanding... this could’ve not happened... he could’ve not died... we could’ve been still together.” she added.

 “I bet if he’s seeing you right now, he don’t want you crying. You just have to accept the fact that he’s already gone. Move on.” I advised her.

 “It’s not that easy. Especially that he’s the guy I loved the most. He’s almost my life. You’re just saying that because you don’t know how it feels like to be me. I have parents but it seems that I don’t have at all. They already have Alzheimer's disease, they can’t even remember my name. They don’t even know that I’m their daughter. And whenever I have a problem, I can’t tell it to them because they just don’t understand me. That’s why I usually go with my boyfriend to tell everything I feel, to lighten myself up a bit, to tell him that I’m getting tired of life’s shit.... because whenever I try to approach my parents... they kept asking, “who are you?”... It’s just painful. This feels stupid. That’s why my whole world revolved around Shawn. Because he’s the only person there for me at my downiest moments. Now who are you to tell me to ‘Move on’ without any ease?”

I took a deep breathe.

 “I was just a child when my parents died. My dad was an investigator, but because he was successful on his investigations about corruption, which is a very sensitive case, armed people killed him... my mom was also affected at the massacre. You know what, I even told myself to go for a suicide. At that age, it was too hard for me to accept the reality. I don’t even have contacts, I don’t even know who are my relatives.... nor do I have friends... I began to learn cooking by myself, to pay attention to myself, save money, budget what’s left, to be independent... and to get used to the loner living. Lucky for you that you still have your parents. That boyfriend could be replaced.... but parents? You could never replace it. I know that it sounds offensive... but sometimes... you just really have to let go of things even if you feel like holding on. It takes years to forget, but you’ll get over in that soon.” I answered.

"Tell me, how many rough things you've been through?" she asked.

"You'd never wanna know that."

Intrepid began to sat and looked at the dark sea.

 “By the time I had the answer in this case, I’ll say goodbye to this depression.” she uttered.

“But I tell you, It’s not that easy to forget. There comes a time that the memories will keep bumping in your head.”

"I can't believe that you are saying these things to me. I mean... what's making you nicer? What happened to the stone-hearted Private eye?"

I began to sit too.

"Just like humans, I also have emotions." I answered.

"Do you think that love can conquer death?" she asked while she's holding sand on her hand.

"Well, for a relative... it may. But in a relationship like bf gf thingy? Uhmmm. That’s just ridiculous. It’s still a different feeling if you have a real life lover. That feeling where in you know that you two could make a great family, that you two could build your future together, having arguments, feeding each other with sweetness, and real moments that you could feel his hug... his warmth.” I told her and I took a glance at her.

 “I don’t know why is the world punishing me. Like... have I done something bad to suffer like this?” she started crying.

 “Stop crying. Let’s go. I’m taking you back to your home.” I patted her head.

I took Intrepid back to her house.

She’s too sweet to suffer. It’s a pity for her.