[Ereri] The Screams that Saved my Sanity

19-Speachless and a Broken Heart

-Eren's POV-

"Eren, you need to leave. Now."

Have you ever had the wind knocked out of you?
It feels like for a moment you are going to die.
You can't breath and no matter how hard you try to take in a breath it just barely escapes your grasps.

That's how I felt when he said those words to me.

"W-what do you mean?"
"I MEAN YOU NEED TO GET AWAY FROM ME!" He snapped.
If I wasn't crying before, I definitely was now.

"Levi, I'm not scared of you."

"IT DOESN'T MATTER, EREN! DON'T YOU GET IT!?" He stopped and lowered his voice. "Don't you get it, Eren? If you stay here you will get hurt. If you stay with me you will get hurt. We talked about this!"
I didn't care if he was right. I held my ground.
"I'm not going to leave. I don't care what I said." I saw his once sensitive eyes flicker. Now they were cold and glassy.
Devoid of any and all emotion.

"If you stay here I will hurt you. If you stay here I will kill you."
I flinched at his words, "L-Levi we'll figure this out. You were fine! Maybe you did something different that caused it. Did you have a dream that could have provoked it?"

"I THOUGHT I WAS FINE TOO EREN! I THOUGHT I WAS FINE UNTIL I WOKE UP WITH A KNIFE IN MY HAND AND A CUT AT YOUR SIDE!" He was angry. He was spiteful. But even then I could tell that he wasn't mad at me.
"It doesn't matter how fine I thought I was. I should have never put you in danger. I SHOULDN'T HAVE!"

"Levi, please-"
"I did because I was being the selfish, arrogant, asshole that I am! I'M SO GODDAMN STUPID!" I saw as tears ran down his face. His expression softened.
"I'm so selfish. I'm so stupid...I wanted it so bad. I wanted to be happy so bad. I wanted to be a human being so bad," he looked at me, "I wanted you so bad." He stood up abruptly, "How dumb can I be?" He started making his way out the bedroom and towards the front door.
I panicked.
As he approached the door I ran up to him and grabbed his arm. "Please, Levi, don't leave!"
He snatched his arm away.
"Eren, I said don't touch me." I tightened my grip.
"No. No I won't. You're not a monster."

"YES, I AM EREN!" He yelled. "I KIDNAPED YOU. I BEAT YOUR FACE IN AND LOCKED YOU IN A BASEMENT! I PUT WOOD IN BETWEEN YOUR FINGER NAILS BECAUSE I'M INSANE!"

Levi, you're not insane.

He let held his hands to his face to hide his tears. "I-I put a gun to your goddamn head and I stabbed you in my sleep," He sobbed. When I took a step towards him to comfort him he stepped away.

"Every minute we're together you're in danger. I'm not going to do that to you anymore."

"Levi, stop it. Don't do this to me!"

"I think we both knew this could only end this way. We took a risk and all it brought was a knife in your side." He opened unlocked door. I became desperate.

"What about 'I think I might love you'?!" Huh?!"
He turned and looked at me surprised.
"Are you really going to give up? Did you even mean it?! Because if you did you wouldn't be doing this to me right now. YOU WOULDN'T BE LEAVING AND GIVING UP!"

The emotion flickered back into his gray eyes. I saw his sadness, his longing, his desperation, even his hate.
His self loathing.

"Eren...I'm doing this because of that. I'm doing this because....I love you." The last part he said looking at the floor. Almost like he couldn't bare to see my reaction.

Then he closed the door and left, leaving me speechless and with a broken heart.

-Levi POV-

I cried as I left the house. Soon I realized I left my car keys inside.
I didn't care.
I started walking towards the nearest police station. It would take me awhile to get there.

I should have turned myself in a long time ago.
I'm sorry for what I did to you, Eren.

I couldn't stop thinking of the look on Eren's face when I left. His crying face was still visible in the dark of my small house.

-Eren's POV-

Once he left I expected myself to break down right away. Instead I felt numb.
I didn't even know what had just happened. I looked down at my side and saw the bandages covering my wound.

Better put a shirt on.

I walked into Levi's room and put one of his larger shirts on. It was clean and it hid my wound. I walked out of the room and sat on the couch-still not processing what had just occurred.

I was too shocked.

Finally I felt everything hit me all at once.

"I MEAN YOU NEED TO GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"If you stay here I will kill you."

"I'm a monster."

"Please, Levi. Don't leave!"

"...I love you."

Once I started crying I couldn't stop. I sobbed and sobbed clinging to the only thing I had left of Levi-his shirt. I cried until I had no more tears to cry.

I had given my all to him.

I had given my all to someone who probably didn't deserve it.

It was shoved back into my face. Stupid, stupid, me. I didn't care if he was doing this for me. It still meant he was leaving me.

Why, Levi? Why did you have to leave me alone in the dark again?

Why did I even give you a chance? I should have left you in that basement that night! You stabbed me! After all that we've been through you stabbed me! Why should I shed another tear for you?!

No matter how loud my thoughts rang in my head I continued to cry. Regardless of what I told myself, I did care about Levi.

Then I heard a knock at the door.

A/N

Yo
Sorry this chapter is a bit short. I've written a bunch ahead though to make up for this.
Yeah...and sorry about this chapter...

$Author-chan: ruining ships since 1986$

Btw 1986 is a random number...
I'm not like a 30 year old...
Yeah....
Sigh.
Thanks for reading.
Peace out.