The Shadow

Chapter 4 (Can You Hear Them Calling?)

Author's note; Well, well... I hope this chapter makes it up to you guys, for the previous was quite a short one. Enjoy.

As Paul had expected, his father was far from pleased with his son's expulsion, but still had said nothing. A glare was enough to show the dismiss and disapproval and make Paul feel ashamed.

He placed a bouquet of red tulips on his mother's grave, her favorite flower. He remembered her decorating the dining room with all the colors of tulips. Oh, how he missed those days.

"Hey mom. It's me, Paul." there was a pause. "Dad misses you dearly. We all do." a gulp, "Happy birthday. Visit us sometime, will you?" he fought a smile and gasped as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Mom?" he whispered in shock.

"Not really Paulie." he didn't need to turn around to confirm it was his brother.

"Mike. You scared me half to death."

"That was my intention, brother." he winked.

"Oh, fuck off." he breathed in and sat on the ground, Michael following the elder's example.

"I miss her too Paul. Especially lately."

"I know Michael."

"Mum was unique, was she not?"

"Yes Mike. Simply irreplaceable." he half smiled as he nodded his head. There was no need to say anything more and the two brothers cuddled together, like little kids, afraid from the rest of the world, broken and damaged. They sat there far away from judging eyes, far away from all but one young man looking at them from somewhere near, touched by the scene and maybe somewhat confused or worse, kind of culpable.

***

They returned home both knocked out from their outburst. Michael rarely saw his big brother crying and it depressed him. Paul was never showing his feelings and most of the times he was the strong one. He didn't cry much, but just the tears in his eyes were enough to confirm a great weakness, a great gap in the elder's heart.

After getting back they both locked themselves in their rooms and did not come out until their father had returned. No one spoke much during dinner. Their father's toil to engage a conversation was soon proven pointless. There was nothing to be said. Paul was staring blankly at his plate, his mind focused on John and his family. How had they reacted after receiving the news that their only son was murdered, how lonely and guilty they must have felt. He hadn't seen him in a while now and he felt alone. He understood that John might have been busy, with what he didn't know, or simply not in the mood, but it pained him, and now that he was back to school after the expulsion, the boredom and monotony in his life seemed unbearable.

"Have you studied for tomorrow?"

"Saturday." Paul mumbled.

"What did you say?" Jim asked.

"Tomorrow's Saturday dad."

"Oh. Right." he shook his head and chuckled awkwardly. "You know, today was your mother's birthday." he sighed.

"We know dad." Michael smiled sadly. Paul stood up unable to keep up with the conversation much longer.

"She was beautiful. And she would be very proud of you both." Jim sat up as well and moved to the dining room, sitting in his armchair, avoiding gaze with his sons. The two boys exchanged glances of sympathy amd understanding, speaking unheard words that only the two of them understood.