My Nonexistent Love Life

To: Those Who Finally Realize What Bittersweet Love Is. 5/5/12

5/5/12

Hey Nothing! Hey dudes.

Don't kill me for not being around.. I was really busy..

A lot's happened, guys.... I have so much to tell you! It's kind of ridiculous; what happened to me these past few days... You might be wondering what it is.. are you? You probably don't care.. or you love hearing about my love failures. hahah 'cause I know I would if I was you!

I'd be like, "Daaaamn, that girl really can't get a guy...." hahaha

BUT anyway, I'll tell you the main part  of the first half of my 'story'.

Someone likes me.

Guess who that person is?

I'll give you a few seconds to think..

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5

Okay, now I'll knock down your guesses one by one.

Not Matthew

I'll give you Matthew guys time to think of a new one now.

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Not Vinnie

I'll give you Vinnie guys time to think of a new one now.

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Not Lenny

I'll give you Lenny guys time to think of a new one now.

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Logan? Did someone say Logan?

WELL, that person deserves a prize!!!!

You guessed it guys.(ha ha). Logan likes me.

But guess what the suckish thing is?

I don't like him anymore...

Ok, I'll give you three minutes to jump me and bash my head in, telling me I'm so stupid.

Because Iknow I am.

I've been waiting for this for AGES, and it's finally come-Logan likes me! But.. I just don't like him back anymore. Which is ridiculous because I was crushing on him on and off for like 2 freaking years! And finally, when he confesses that he likes me, I have to think of a way to turn him down.

I've cried over this, screamed over this, went into my basement and sang my throat raw with my karaoke machine because of this.

I don't know what to do.

I'll tell you what's been nagging me, and maybe you guys can give me some advice. I'll love you forever. Like, the person with the best advice'll seriously get a dedication because I need HELP. and you know I'm serious when I say I'll give you a dedication, ok?

First of all, we've been talking nonstop for the past couple months. Like my God, my phone just has his messages and stuff.. I think we got too close... and that caused me to like us better as friends.. becasue I don't want to lose him if we ever break up and stuff, ya know?

Second, I owed him lunch. So I decided I was going to take him out to Cheesecake Factory. He ended up buyinh and he told everyone who asked that it was a date! Like... um.... and this was just last week, when I wasn't sure that I liked him anymore.

I have a theory on this:

For me, I think one sided love is fine(me being the one side) because I can just like him, obsess, then get over it, no problem. But when there's two sides, then one of them's going to get hurt..and it's really hard and jsut.. know what I mean? Now that I finally got Logan to like me.. I don't feel anything anymore.

Is that weird?

ANYWAY,

Third, I'll tell you how he confessed that he liked me. Yesterday, he told me he had to talk to me. So I was like, Okay. But we didn't have time because I had to practice this thing for a wedding with a guy named.. Teddy(I'll get to him in a minute). So he said he'd talk to me later.

I was like, Okay. So he texted me and said he'd tell me through text.

He told me through a math problem. It was kind of like the "2i<6u" solve for 'i' thing, but like a lot more complicated with factorials and natural logerithms and stuff. Anyway, I kind of suspected what it said, so I was like, "Ha,... I can't solve this! I have no idea how to!"

And he ended up solving it for me and saying that it comes out to be i<3u but more like a "I think I like  you"....

and I was like Oh my freaking god why couldn't you have told me this a year ago, when I had the maximum hots for you, ya know?

So after I finished strangling myself for that, I started to feel depressed. How was I going to tell him that I didn't like him without hurting our relationship now?

I can't, can I?

I didn't even tell you the worst part..

Fourth, I really like someone else. Can you guess it? That's right! Teddy.

He's such a good guitarrist and celloist and he's really cute.. this might sound really corny and obsessive and stupid but.. my favorite thing about him is how he says my name. I don't even know why haha.

I don't understand.. why would this happen to me?

Teddy and Logan know each other too, so that'd be really bad!

I told Logan I needed to think.. like before, I told him(through the result of a misunderstanding) that I liked him and that I wasn't ready for a boyfriend but I'd totally consider it in a couple years(since he's a senior and I'm afreshman) and that I might like someone else.

Well, Logan was like, "Don't change your mind to anyone else Kacie. Only like me. Is this too much?" and my heart just like broke in tragazillion pieces.

How can I tell him that I don't like him....

So I told him I didn't want to lead him on because I couldn't promise that I can't like anybody else.. and that I was afraid this would ruin our friendship. and he was like, "Yeah, I expected something liek that.."

and I was just so depressed and I felt so bad...

GOD DANG IT GUYS I'm so nervous. I see him tomorrow and I'm just..

How long can, "I need time to think" keep me covered for?

I really like Teddy guys...

I've tried so hard to let go of him and like Logan again but I just can't do this..

I feel so bad..

AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE,

One of these little kids that I know came up to me and told me I was gaining weight!

PLEASE, SWALLOW ME UP, WORLD.

I just finished so much food, to make it worse...  I don't know what to do anymore..

So do you guys want to kindly help a kindred soul out here and tell me what to do?

What the heck do I tell Logan?

Love sucks...

+End Scene+