My Nonexistent Love Life

To: Those Who Have A Place In Their Heart For Taylor 10/25/11

10/25/11

Hey, NOthing, y'all. yo, chicks, dawgs, everyone!

I'm going to spill what I think about Taylor's nonexistent love life. Fun, eh?

Well! Let's get STARTED!(Love that song)

_________________

DEAR a piece of paper, <--Piece of paper. Love it. Heh, you got competition, Nothing,.

this is my short love life summed up in a little chapter. Only bound to grow bigger, sweetie cakes.

LETS SEE, where should we start? From the beginning!

Oh yes. The first day of school. Oooh, always rough!

So I walk into Algebra and I'm all like "WHOO WAY TO START A FRESH NEW YEAR." That's the SPIRIT!

and then this guy walks in. *Sits back in chair and crosses legs* Ah, don't they always?

lets call him... Evan. Evan.. sounds hot!(;

So Evan walks in and I'm all like, 'woahh.' Fixing my hair off to the side and what not... Hahahahahah guys, this is a good point. ALWAYS fix your hair and make sure you don't got no pit stains or smelly shoes. and we should describe Evan. Well, that certaintly would be nice!(:

Evan is only about 3 inches taller then me, has REALLY blue eyes, tan, and plays football. I dunno. Just attracted to him in some way I guess.(; Sounds like a model, girlfrandd.

Anyways, I'm all fixin' my hair and actin' all cool and what not, THEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN. BAM. He looks at me. Maybe I'm just over imaginative like someone I know (cough Kacie cough cough)...hehehehhe....(: and so I'm all like, just cut the stare, and so I look away and start blushing like a little fan girl cuz I think I was all cool and what not back then. I wouldn't necessarily think of myself as popular, not like the girls who are sluts... but, I'm the good popular. I'm friends with everyone and what not (; Oh honey, those are the best kind of people. You rock. Especially when you win goat championships.<3

FIRST THING YOU NEED TO KNOW. I raise goats. I have goats and chickens... and this is my tip toward you.

TIP FROM TAY; WHOA WHOA WHOA! TIP FROM TAY! EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION! IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A NUMBER TO NAME IT. IT HAS A LEGIT NAME. never. ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever get interviewed by your local newspaper. EVER. I got interviewed for winning Grand Champion with my goat, so I was all cool DL (down low) and what not and then... the worst thing happened to me that I'll let you know later. Okay, we'll be waiting!(:

So lets recap. Evan is guy #1. I raise goats. Pretty awesome and what not... then it slips out from under my feet. D'aw.): TEar

There is also this other guy... lets call him Denton. Let's just get this straight. Here's another tip. Heheheh. does he grow up to be a dentist???C;

TIP FROM TAY: WHOA ANOTHER ONE! LISTEN UP! Also, don't ever date the Principal's son/daughter. Just. Don't... Oh God, that's like telling someone to never swallow their spit......hahahah jk. Jay, Kay! Just, Kidding! JUST KIDDING.

So Denton and me were good friends in kinder garden, and his dad was the Vice principal. I started to gradually like him from the start of 8th, and it kinda progressed. It's not like "OMG LYK. ILY." no. It's a little crush I guess. So therefore, Denton is guy #2. Whoa, labels. I like it!

So here is where it gets CRAZYYY. Absolutely loca, amiga. I was sitting in Spanish when the normal announcements come on, said the pledge and what not. Then right before the announcements ended, my hell began.

"Taylor lastnamehere won Grand Champion with her goat Skippy at the Texas State Fair! Congratulations Taylor!" <3 moment of silence for the death of Taylor's composure.

And I felt like balling. Everyone turns to me and cracks up laughing and clapping. I wanted to go die in a hole. Then came the questions from Mason (Denton's friend), "Where do you get a goat? Can I have your goat? What do you do with a goat? Where do you keep a goat? Did you get your goat at Goats-r-us?" <--Crueeeel , dude. Where do you get your mean attitude, Mason? Dick-R-Us?

And the cocky comments and questions just kept coming. And of course Denton was in that class. Just an ironic twist. And he just kinda turned to me like it was the first time he noticed I was alive.

I wanted to... gawd. I hated my school soooo much, I was pissed.I'd be, too, sista. Pound em like bread and knead his head into the wall, girl!

THEN OF COURSE NEXT PERIOD I HAD ALGEBRA. (BTW, this happened 2 weeks ago, it died down after a week of tortures.) And everyone was all like "Taylor has a goat? Who's Taylor? (<-- says the jocks)" And I tried to go on with my day of multiple questions. And Evan just kept glancing and grinning. But, I doubt it was a good grin... maybe a 'what a dork' grin. Until I learned a secret about Mr.Evan.

Tip from Taylor: BEFORE YOU GO JUDGING, Facebook is the key to dirty little secrets. SO TRUE! Good lord, Facebook Creeping is my life<3.... is that weird?

Later that night, I went on Facebook and what do you know, Evan's name was on my 'People you may know' sidebar. So out of curiosity I clicked on him, then went to his pictures. Long behold...

he showed steers.

For you City folks, STEERS ARE CASTRATED COWS. Make it more simpler?

Male cow= nuts cut off= steer. HAHAHHAHAH made me laugh like a hooligan

Therefore, HE showed cows. HE won grand champion. And HE sold the steer for  $12,000 Hmph. Whatta cow boy. Lasso Taylor in, country boy!(;

And I would just also like to point out, I got attracted to him more... because he is in the same boat I am. He's a cute cowboy (;;

So the next day, the front office CUT THE NEWSPAPER OUT (I was on the front page, whoopwhoop.) AND POSTED IT ON THE BIG BLUE WALL. Whoa. yeah, cause everyone knows the blue wall is scarier and more official then the red one!<3 (I was the only one up there.. feeling accomplished.) ohgawd. That was brutal too because I had some pretty ugly pictures up on that page... and it just sent the fire down the hall and burning throughout the school.

I would tell you more... but. You should be left with this little scene. Daww, so soon?</3

Me, Denton, this weird (I think she's lesbo... but.. who am I the one to judge?)HAHAHHAHA girl, and this 6th grade friend. We got done with our project with 10 minutes left and my 6th grade friend, Fabio, decided he wanted to ask personal questions. Example, "Weren't you a tomboy in 6th grade?" And I was, but, I didn't want to say something like that in front of Denton, so I was all like, "Uh... noo..." and then he went on with,

"I thought you rode ripstick?" Dude, that's sick.!(:

"Nonono, I rode it once, went down a big hill, tried to turn and sprained my wrist. I had a cast in 6th grade..."

"Oh, well, you were quiet in 6th grade."

I just nodded, and started doodling on a spare piece of paper(By doodling, she means making a replica of one of Picasso's work!(: ) trying to avoid conversation. Denton seemed intrigued and made an on-core with the show. Oh great. That was some on-core I'll never forget in those 3 minutes.

Sincerely,

Goat Girl</3 ~Tay Naww! Change that </3 into a whole heart!<333333 Aunt Kacie will stitch that RIGHT up for you, honey babe.<3

Give it up for Taylor, the lovely girl who WILL get a whole trail of boys following her before she realizes it!(: