The Myth of Wile E

Pudding Tree From Outer Space

Also waiting for me was a letter from the power company. They had replied to my electrified letter. Not by refunding me 1.5 haiku, but by explaining that they were the only service provider in the area, and if I was having trouble meeting my payments I should call 1-800-PWR-HELP for answers and advice.

An answers-and-advice line? Oh! What a handy concept! There were so many questions I'd like answered. Questions like, How can "flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing? Whose Underoos does Superman wear? If you put probiotics and antibiotics together, will they explode? And what is "occasional music" the rest of the time?

But I'd have to prioritize, since it wasn't clear how many questions were allowed. Was this a standard three-question policy, typical of classic myths and fairy tales? And if I asked how many questions were permitted, would that question be counted against me?

Dear Electric Company, (I wrote)

Thank you for directing me to the answers and advice line. As a matter of fact, I do have a question that has perplexed me for some time! If you should happen to run into the answer people, it would be great if you could you ask them about this one tree I have growing in my grove. It has strange maroonish flowers that smell kind of like spoiled meat. But don't hold that against the tree, because the flowers turn into giant fruit that look like seafoam-green potatoes on the outside, yet are pale yellow and squishy and honey-sweet on the inside. If banana-vanilla pudding grew on trees, this would be the tree it grew on. Maybe it comes from outer space, this tree? If so, it does not seem to be malicious, as I have eaten the fruit lots of times and have not (to the best of my knowledge) become a pod person.

Also, to the tree's credit, I've noticed it is beloved by possum and raccoons, and by some kind of pretty white-and-black-striped butterfly that I don't know the name of either.

So, if you see the answers and advice people, please ask them what the tree is called. It was not listed in a book about local flora that I got from the library. I'd ask a possum, but they're shy and not forthcoming. Or a butterfly, but they don't have mouths.

This particular tree and I have been living together for a few years now and I don't even know its name, which I'm sure you'd agree is a shame.

PS - Due to interest, I believe you now owe me 1.6 haiku, but I'm willing to let that slide.