The Myth of Wile E

Mantis Incident

Did you know that one time, just one time, Wile E. did in fact catch the Roadrunner?

It's true. But poor Wile E., once again the victim of Acme products gone awry (not to mention the perils of cartoon irony), had been shrunk to the size of a Pez container, and could only grab onto the Roadrunner's ankle. (The Roadrunner, who'd grown as big as a car, took little notice of his defeat.)

I bring this up because the little spider finally almost got something . . . or perhaps something almost got him.

When I went to use the bathroom sink I noticed a large green mantis perched on the faucet, devoutly praying and swaying.

Chances are my little spider friend was way too tiny for that praying mantis to even notice, but I wasn't taking any chances.

I gently picked up the mantis, sorry to rudely interrupt its prayer session. It swiveled its space-alien head at me.

The mantis took up most of my hand. It was cool to the touch and surprisingly weighty, its smooth green zeppelin body swaying on unsettlingly prickly legs. It had wings that looked like maple tree whirlygigs, but kept them folded.

It stared at me without fear. Maybe because of all the praying? Like a mantis snake-handler, mantis berserker, or mantis Ghost Dancer, maybe it thought it was invulnerable, favored by whatever gods it believed in. (No doubt a mantis-shaped god, who art in a great tree, and who hath proclaimeth cricket-eating and mate-beheading to be the epitome of all that is righteous.)

I carried the mantis outside and set it down among the Every Flavor Beans so it could climb all the way up to the home of the giants.