There was a man lived in Blicket Bload
In a farm right down Yackity Road
He had twenty acres of rich land
Where he grazed ten pickety pand
Eight nickety nous, four hackety hees
And a rackty ripe with nobbly knees
The only problem with his own flock
Was that they always got themselves stuck
The nickety nous are furry and pink
They really love to drink and to drink
They have long tails and a little snout
To suck up water and the occasional trout
The problem with one nickety nou
Is he drank so much water he was stuck in a shoe
He puffed up so big and squeezed in the toes
But when he moved he was wedged with his nose
Sticking out of the hole where your feet go
To get out, the water he had to blow
Over the fence into the neighbour's garden
Then pop round and say to them 'pardon!'
Next farmer went to check his hackety hees
But you'll never guess, they were all up in trees
Now the hackety hee is a ground dwelling fellow
About cow sized and all over yellow
With the odd spot of green on their bum
They tend to really stick with their mum
To climb up a tree is mostly unheard
That domain was made for a bird
But something had given them quite a fright
For they had been staying in the trees all night
They were shaking and shivering, too scared to come down
Across their long faces they all wore a frown
He had to grab their favourite food
A strange looking vegetable called a klood
Each was thin and bendy and blue
Sticky and sappy and dripping with goo
The hackety hees jumped straight for their treat
Completing their descent with an incredibly feat
Of twisting and turning within the air
Within just a moment they were now there
Stood on the grass munching so fast
That those poor kloods just would not last
They charged at the farmer baying for more
It was such a haste they knocked him to the floor
They pleaded and pleaded with their clacking sound
But poor old farmer was not waiting around
He charged and he fled away from the place
It was almost as if he was in new a race
To get as far from his animals as he could
At least at this he really was good
Next he came for the rackty ripe
But he could not find him try as he might
He looked at the field and up the mountain
He looked in the bins and in the fountain
He looked in his favourite spot by the stream
And tried to coax him with scones and cream
He looked up in despair to a great height
And there was rackty ripe stuck in a pipe
How did he get all the way up there?
He must have climbed 'cos there was no stair
How to get it out, where could he go
There was no doubt, he would have to blow
The farmer bent over and drew in some air
Then blew through the pipe with considerable care
At first nothing happened so he had to blow more
Then out flew racty ripe with a terrible roar
He arched over the house and field back yonder
Making a noise louder than thunder
He hit the barn with an ear splitting crash
And on into the pond with a great splash
He left a hole in the barn the shape of his body
The pond was now all dirty and muddy
The fish had been flung almost half of a mile
To get back to their home would be quite a trial
The farmer was happy another animal was free
But there was one left to complete his spree
He ran to his collection of pickety pand
But luckily for him they were very bland
They had fur of beige and no spots at all
They did not get stuck or lost or fall
There they still were grazing in the field
With one whistle blow they did all yield
And came to the farmer all faces a beaming
With joy and love their whole bodies were teaming
He gave the group a hug, one mass of fur
And like a large cat they let out a big purr
From these he wished the others would learn
For at least the pickety pand were not a concern
YOU ARE READING
Bad Poetry You probably never want to read
PoetryJust some of the poetry I have written.