Saudade // c.h.

twenty-three

twenty-three

 

 

                 I thinkthe only problem with having to share an apartment with two of your friends is if you bring a boy home, you never hear the last of it. It’s just a repeated amount of endless questions like, “What did you guys do?” “Did you have fun?” and “How was he?” In the beginning it was a little embarrassing to have to face the fact that Hailey and Emma knew what happened between Calum and I last night, but now it was just plain obnoxious.

“You sure nothing happened?” Hailey smirked, snapping me out of my daze. I sunk down in my chair and groaned, crossing my arms over my chest. “Please shut up,” I mumbled under my breath as Hailey let out a laugh, as Emma chuckled softly behind her, “Okay, I have to go to work, but hey-congrats Fay,” Emma grinned as she picked up her keys and coffee and approached the front door.

“Screw you!” I cursed, throwing a piece of my bread at the back of Emma’s head as she quickly closed the door behind her, trying to avoid anymore of any sudden ambushes I had planned. Hailey let out another snicker as she arose from her chair and walked towards the front door with a grin planted on her face, “you see, I have to go too, so you are welcome to have Calum over because neither Emma nor I will hear anything you guys have planned.”

“Shut up!” I rolled my eyes, “it was a onetime thing, and it was stupid, I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t stupid,” Emma shook her head with a smile plastered on her face, “it was predictable-I mean you and Calum have been together for months, it had to happen eventually. But please, next time-not so loud.”

I let out a huff of anger as Emma laughed, poking her head back out the door, closing it behind her. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and quickly dialed Calum’s number to hear a muffled voice on the other end of the line.

“Fay?” Calum said from the other end of the phone.

“They heard us,” I groaned into the phone.

“Listen-Fay, this isn’t a good time.” Calum said.

“Yeah-whatever, come over soon, will you? I’m bored.” I said, staring down at my nails that I had perfectly polished soon after Calum left my apartment.

“I wish I could,” Calum sighed, “but right now just isn’t a good time.”

“Why? Is everything okay?” I said, furrowing my eyes together, “do you want me to come over?”

“No-Fay, listen, I really have to go-bye.” And with that Calum ended our-somewhat to quick-call, leaving me astonished and overfilled with my own confusion. His eagerness to end the call worried me in a way, but I shrugged it off, figuring that I should just drop it and trust Calum. I mean, I could trust him.

I picked myself up from my chair and dragged my feet towards the front door, figuring I should probably get some fresh air in the mean time. I slid on my jacket and grabbed my keys, locking the door behind me.

I sped down towards the elevator and pressed my finger against the lit up button, opening up the elevator and stepping inside, watching as it closed behind me.

I slid through my recent messages, grinning at some of the past texts Calum had sent me that he considered were funny, but I think we both knew they weren’t that great-but they still made me smile.

As the elevator door slid open, I walked past it and outside, onto the sidewalk, grinning as a breeze of fresh air greeted me. I wrapped my jacket tighter around me as I walked down the pavement, listening closely at the sound of my feet gently hitting against the sidewalk in some kind of rhythm.

I let out a sigh of slight annoyance as my phone began to ring, distracting me from the beautiful scenery surrounding me. Checking my phone, I groaned, seeing that it was only Hailey and not Calum. “Calling me already? You left like ten minutes ago,” I chuckled into the phone.

“Is Calum with you?” Hailey asked quickly.

“No, why?” I questioned as Hailey sighed through the other end of the line.

“It’s nothing, I just thought I saw Calum here and I thought he was with you, it’s not even him-just similar looking.” Hailey said.

“Okay?” I said, furrowing me eyebrows together and pressing my lips together in a thin line, “why would you call me if you saw him though?”

“I don’t know,” Hailey shrugged, “just thought you’d like to know-anyways                                                       boss is coming, see ya.”

“Yeah,” I said, “see ya.”

I hit the end button, closing up our call and sighing. I didn’t want to think that she saw more than just a replica of Calum, but I couldn’t help but have a little lit up piece inside of me, thinking that.

I continued to walk down the pavement as rain began to drizzle from the heavy clouds above me, following along with a sudden, striking sound of thunder.

I turned on my heel and began to jog back towards the apartment, gaining second thoughts of wasting my time in the streets, getting damp and cold.

I strolled up towards the elevator once more and stepped inside, waiting as it reached the top with a ding of a sound. I rose my head up and walked towards my apartment door, pushing my hand in my pocket and feeling around for my keys and jamming them into the lock.

I opened up the door and walked into the living room, dropping myself down on the couch and resting my head against the pillow, as my phone began to ring again, this time being Calum.

“Calum?” I said into the phone.

“Fay, can I come over?” Calum said quickly, in a muffled tone.

“Yeah, why?” I said.

“I just really need to-“ Calum said, “Fay I’m so sorry.”

“What?” I said, confusion clear in the tone of my voice.

“I screwed up-please just-let me come.”

“I said you could,” I said, narrowing my eyes as I lifted myself up so I was sitting straight and tall, “Calum, what happened-what did you do?”

“Just wait for me to come over,” Calum said into the phone, “god I’m so sorry, Fay.”

And then the line went dead and I’m not going to lie, I was scared beyond repair of what Calum had planned to say to me. I was scared and worried and anxious about what was to come, but most of all- I was angry.

I was angry before I even had heard anything from Calum because I hated waiting-I hated waiting for bad things to happen.

Because bad things only led to destruction.

+

This chapter is so bad ew, sorry for the long wait. I had 3 projects due the past two weeks and a ton of tests and lots and lots of studying, and that’s not really a good excuse, so sorry.