Saudade // c.h.

twenty-two

twenty-two

The car ride home was awfully silent.

Calum was clenching tightly onto the steering wheel and Ed Sheeran was playing softly on the radio at a low volume.

I rested my head on the damp window that felt cold against my skin and pressed my lips into a thin line.

"You can go home now," Calum said sharply as he pulled into the parking lot of my driveway.

I sighed and nodded as I opened up the car door and walked towards the steps that led to the door of the apartment complex.

And just as I was about to grab onto the door handle, I turned to face Calum one last time, holding back the tears in my eyes that were threatening to spill, "are you going to leave me?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"I don't know." Calum admitted, sighing deeply from his pulled down window, running his fingers through his hair.

I looked longingly into his deep brown eyes before allowing a few tears to slip before I quickly whipped them away.

"I don't like it when you cry," Calum said, beginning to open up his car door.

"No, stay in you car-it's cold out here." I said referring to the new born rain that fell lightly from the heavy gray clouds that made the sky look even darker then it already was.

Calum nodded and sunk down in his driver's seat.

"Thanks for the wonderful time," I spoke in rough tone before turning on my heel and pushing through the apartment door and racing into the elevator, whipping away the remaining tears that were stained onto my skin.

But just as the elevator began to close shut, a familiar shoe pressed in between it, opening it up once more, revealing my familiar Australian boyfriend.

"No." Calum said walking towards me, pressing me back into the wall as the elevator closed shut.

Calum pressed his forehead against mine and repeated his words, "no."

"No what?" I said, choking on my own words.

"No-no, I won't leave you." Calum said, fitting his lips into mine as a sudden movement.

I slowly pulled away as Calum cupped my face into his hands.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen." I cried as Calum left soft kisses on the bridge of my nose.

"Don't apologize." Calum said, "I can't risk loosing another person I love."

I nodded as Calum whipped away another amount of my tears that fell carelessly from my eyes, kissing the areas in which they stained.

And as the elevator door opened, Calum pulled me towards him and backed me up towards my apartment door.

And as I turned around, facing my back towards him to unlock the door, Calum began to leave soft kisses down my neck until I opened up the door and closed it gently.

And just as I did, Calum flipped me around so I faced him and forced his lips onto mine, backing me into my room, closing the door behind him with his foot and pushed me onto my bed.

"Calum-" I began before Calum adjusted back into reality.

"Oh-god, sorry." Calum said.

"No-I'm ready." I smiled.

"Are you sure?" Calum said, raising his eyebrows slightly.

I nodded, "if I want to feel something-I want to feel it with you."

Calum grinned before pinning me down, kissing me down my neck as I stripped of my shirt until I was in only my bra and jeans.

Calum smirked at my appearance and continued to kiss me as I pulled his shirt over his head, kissing his bare chest that was now pressed against me.

As our little moment continued to happen, Calum and I continued to strip of our clothing until we were completely bare and forcing ourselves onto each other in front of my window which had rain pelting onto it, roughly.

I dug my nails deeply into Calum's back but he didn't seem to mind because as I did he allowed his hands to explore my body, going from my back to down my hips and to my legs as he pushed me up and allowed me to wrap my legs around him and roughly kiss him.

And from there he pushed me back onto my body and pulled us under my cover as he pressed his bare body against mine and continued to kiss my exposed skin.

~

The next morning, I woke up, forcing my eyes open, slowly adjusting to the blinding rays of light that cracked through the curtains before I realized that I had a naked Calum pressed against my exposed body with his arms wrapped around my waist.

I smiled at the thought of the past events that took place last night in this room.

"Calum." I said softly as he yawned before leaving a kiss on my temple.

"Did you have fun?" Calum smiled, burying his face into my tangled hair.

"I definitely felt something." I smiled,
"We should get up soon."

"Just not now." Calum yawned once more, contagiously leading on to me yawning.

"Yeah, just not now." I nodded, pressing my face into my soft white pillow and pulling the blankets so it covered Calum and I's bare skin even more.

"I love you," Calum mumbled into my hair in a muffled sound.

I felt my heart tense up before I slowly allowed it to soften, "I love you too-" I breathed out, smiling to myself.

And in that moment, I swear, everything was perfect and for the first time in what felt like forever, everything was finally falling into place and my heart felt whole again and although Annette had a saved part in my mind, Calum had covered up enough of it, until her portion of my thoughts were almost invisible.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"for what?" Calum said.

"For allowing me to forget." I smiled.

"Forget what?" Calum questioned in a muffled tone.

"The fact that life sucks and that everyone is broken-Calum you know how I said that one day that I'm a shattered, unfixable plate." I said.

"Yeah."

"Well you just fixed that plate." I said.

"I thought it was unfixable," Calum smirked.

"Nothing is unfixable. Some things are just harder to fix then others." I said

"This sounds like a cheesy book," Calum chuckled.

"It is." I nodded.

"Indeed, fairy girl." Calum grinned.

~

I'm aware I forgot to mention calum using protection but I'm not gonna make Fay pregnant lol.