Sad Supernatural Imagines

#39 Sam - Hearing Your Songs

Sam comes back from a hunt, only to hear you singing. You and him have been together for a few years now.

(These songs are called 'That wasn't me that was Patricia' by Anna Clendening, 'Hey Little Girl' by Quinn Quinn, and 'When She Cries' by Britt Nicole)

Y/N p.o.v:

Sam was out on a hunt and Dean was with Bobby. You were alone in the bunker. You sighed and went to the piano that you made Sam get for you. He knew you could play, but didn't know you could sing. You sat down on the bench and played random notes. It was one of those days for you. The ones where you just feel so done with everything and everyone. The ones where you just wanna disappear. You sighed again and then started to play a song that you wrote.
"The scariest place that I've ever been is in my own head around 2am. The room, it'll spin and I'll feel sick." You sang softly.
"My chest, it will heave and I cannot breathe. I'm panicking, frantically, so depressed, manically, pop a few pills to maybe do the trick." You continued.
"'Cause no amount of music can cover the screams. No television shows can hide the voices it seems. I'm sitting in my bed with my hands over my head, wishing this was all just a dream. I'm sitting in my bed with my hands over my head, wishing this was all just a dream." You chorused.
"Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head. The voices, telling, yelling at me 'I should be dead.' Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head. When's it gonna stop? 'Never.' They said. 'You're better off dead.'" You croon.
"If someone put a gun on my head, I'd gladly pull the trigger. 'Cause when you're already dead inside, there's nothing else to live for. You'd be doing me a favor. Literally blowing my mind. By showing me a piece of what's on the inside. A mess, I must confess, a little bit twisted. Yes, I get it, I'll admit it. I'm just a little bit weird. Oh dear, but in this day and age, aren't we all a little bit strange? And the voices we are all starting to hear. In this day and age, aren't we all a little bit strange? And the voices we are all starting to hear." You carol.
"Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head. The voices, telling, yelling at me 'I should be dead.' Silence is the loudest thing that's ever filled my head. When's it gonna stop? 'Never.' They said. 'You're better off dead.'" You trill.
"They say 'Jump from that window sill. We won't catch you, but the ground will. Jump from that window sill. We won't catch you, but the ground will. Jump from that window sill. We won't catch you, but the ground will.'" You finish. You felt a tear slip out of your eye and fall on to your hand. You took a deep breath and then started to play the next song you wrote.
"I'm all choked up. I cannot talk. I've got a fucked brain and fucked up thoughts. Thought I was okay, but then, I guess not. Hope you know that this is your fault. I want you to feel bad when you go to sleep. Hope you're sad when you remember me. Hope you feel bad for all you did to me. Hope you lie in your misery." You sing.
"Hey, little girl, you'll never believe there's a piece inside of you, but its hidden too deep. Hey, little girl, you never imagine, you get a little older, you get abandoned. Hey, little girl, you know smokin' kills, but you don't really care 'cause you love how it feels. Hey, little girl, you're falling apart, but you don't really care 'cause they broke your heart." You finished. You take another deep breath and continue on to your next song.
"Little girl terrified. She'd leave her room if only bruises would heal. A home is no place to hide. Her heart is breaking from the pain that she feels. Everydays the same. She fights to find her way. She hurts, she breaks. She hides and tries to pray. She wonders why does anyone ever hear her when she cries." Tests continued to stream down your cheeks as you sang.
"Today she's turning 16. Everyone's singing, but she can't seem to smile. They never get past arms length. How could they act like everything is alright? Pulling down her long sleeves, to cover all the memories the scars leave. She says, 'Maybe making me bleed, will be the answer that could wash the slate clean.'" These songs are how you felt when you were 16 and now even. You used to self-harm, but was finally able to quit. You are stronger than you were when you were 16, but sometimes, the past catches up with you no matter how fast you can outrun it.
"Everydays the same. She fights to find her way. She hurts, she breaks. She hides and tries to pray. She wonders why does anyone ever hear her when she cries. This is the time before the dawn. The storm before the peace. Don't be afraid 'cause seasons change and God is watching over you. He hears you." Yes. Even if you were a hunter, you still believed in god. If Cas is an angel, God should be real. Although, he isn't necessarily doing much and helping the things he made when they need it, he is still there. Listening.
"Everydays the same. She fights to find her way. She hurts, she breaks. She hides and tries to pray. She'll be just fine 'cause I know he hears her when she cries. Everydays the same. She fights to find her way. She hurts, she breaks. She hides and tries to pray. She'll be just fine 'cause I know he hears her when she cries. She'll be just fine 'cause I know he hears her when she cries." You removed your hands from the piano keys and wiped away your remaining tears. You scooted the bench back. You stood up and turned around. You almost screamed when you saw Sam standing there. Staring at you. You put a hand over your racing heart and glared at Sam.
"Warn a woman next time." You mumbled. Sam smiled sheepishly.
"Sorry I scared you." He said quietly. You walked towards him, head bowed. You were slightly embarrassed that he found out about your songs. You came to a stop when you saw his boots.
"How much did you hear?" You asked.
"Basically all of it." Sam answered. You didn't say anything.
"Do you feel that way? Like how you explain in your songs?" He asked. You hesitated before nodding. You still weren't looking at him. You were suddenly squished to his chest.
"How long?" He asked. You didn't want to answer.
"Y/N, how long?" He asked again. You sighed and looked up at him.
"A while." You said in a whisper. Sam only squeezed you tighter to him.
"You should have said something." He said.
"I know, but you already have enough on your plate." You replied. Sam sighed.
"Y/N, promise me that if you ever feel down, that you'll come and talk to me about it." Sam said. You nodded.
"I promise." You whispered.
"I love you." He said as he placed his chin on your head. You smiled.
"I love you, too, Sammy." You said.

A/N

Please tell me you guys like this book? I am honestly thinking that no one likes it because of how much of a shitty writer I am.