Sad Supernatural Imagines

#92 Sam - Never Give Up On Yourself Or Anyone For That Matter

Y/N p.o.v:

You weren't perfect. You far from it. You were fat. You were ugly. You were worthless. You were a disappointment. You were useless. You were broken. You were depressed. And you hated all of this. You hated you. Everything about you. The way your thighs spread over the sides of the chair and how your stomach juts out over your pants. You hated your freckles that were scattered on your cheekbones and nose and dull greenish-bluish-hazel eyes that didn't focus on things long enough. You hated your big nose and your big eyes. You hated your big forehead and dirty blonde hair with natural highlights. You hated your calloused hands that always seemed to be cold. You hated your too-big boobs and flat ass that seemed to be nonexistent. You hated the dark bags underneath your eyes. You hated everything about you. You sighed as you rolled over to your right side. You hadn't gotten out of bed the entire day except to use the bathroom. You hadn't eaten at all today or the past few weeks in fact. You wouldn't leave your room unless Sam and Dean needed the extra help. It was funny because they hadn't noticed. You doubt they'd start paying attention now all of a sudden anyway. You didn't matter. Sam and Dean didn't care, so it all worked out. You heard the bunker door open and slam shut a few seconds later. You heard talking in the distance and ruffling of bags.
"Y/N, food!" Sam yelled. You cleared your throat.
"I already ate, Sam!" You called back. You heard a sigh.
"There aren't any dishes in the sink, Y/N, so you didn't eat." Sam called. You heard footsteps walking towards your room. You sat up and took a deep breath. You heard a knock on your door.
"May I come in?" Sam asked. His voice was muffled by the thickness of the door.
"I suppose so." You replied. Sam opened the door slowly and turned on your light. You blinked a few times, your eyes adjusting to the new brightness.
"Y/N, I won't lie, you look like shit." Sam said. You faked a smile and forced a small chuckle.
"Just a little tired because I haven't been getting much sleep." You said. Sam sighed and looked back at you with a sad expression. You furrowed your brows in confusion.
"Stop lying, Y/N. For the past few days you haven't left your room. For the past few weeks you haven't eaten and it's starting to scare me and Dean. Yeah, we've noticed. I can't take it anymore, Y/N. This is destroying your body. You're skin and bones. You may not see it, but I do. You don't need to be perfect. Everyone is imperfect. I am, so is Dean. Please, Y/N. Talk to me." Sam pleaded. It was like your wall crumbled into millions of tiny little pieces. You felt the tears start to fall down your cheeks and the heavy sobs course through your body.
"I'm sorry, Sam. I'm so sorry!" You cried. Sam ran to you and pulled you to his chest, his arms wrapping around your body. He shushed you, rubbing his warm hands up and down your back. You balled your hands into fists, your nails digging into your flesh.
"Don't apologize. It's okay. I'm always here for you. So is Dean and Cas. You don't need to go through this alone." Sam whispered in your ear. You cried harder as Sam continued to whisper calming words into your ears. You stopped crying after about 30 minutes, but it took a few hours before you were ready to talk. During that time, Sam just rubbed your back and held you, occasionally murmuring comforting words into your ears.
"I'm sorry I'm like this, Sammy, I'm sorry I'm this way. I-I don't know why or how-" Sam interrupted you.
"Y/N, don't. Don't apologize. You shouldn't feel sorry for something that is hard to control. But don't ever think you're worthless or ugly or fat. Don't hurt yourself because people, or the demons in your mind, told you that because it is not true. You are worth everything and deserve the best. I love you, Y/N, and I don't want to lose you. You mean too much to Cas and Dean. You mean too much to me." Sam said softly. His voice cracked towards the end and it broke your heart.
"I'll try and be more open, but-" Sam stopped you.
"But it will take a while. I know and I'm willing to wait as long as you need. I'm always here for you. You don't need to reach any goal or please anyone. Never give up on yourself or anyone for that matter." Sam said. You buried your face into Sam's chest and sniffed.
"I love you too, Sammy." You whispered. It's okay not to be okay.

A/N:

Oml this was horrible...