Sad Supernatural Imagines

#84 Dean - Secrets

Request for @abbeywashere. I hope this is was you asked for!

Y/N p.o.v:

"Dean, come here!" The tall man yelled. You were on the ground, knees to your chest, tears streaming down your face. You had no idea what just happened. The tall man said that whatever tried to kill you was a wendigo. You had no idea what the hell it was, but it wanted you. The tall men came and saved you before it could kill you. You didn't know why. You wouldn't have cared if it did kill you.
"Why'd you save me?" You asked as the other man showed up beside his companion. The shorter man sighed.
"I'm Dean Winchester. This is my brother, Sam. We can help you." He said. You squinted your eyes.
"Why would you help me? What makes you think I want help?" You asked. Dean looked uncomfortable. His brother stepped in.
"You might not want help, but it's good to have it. Let us help. You can come with us. Stay as long as you want. We can teach you to defend yourself against what's out there. You just have to come with us and let us help." Sam said. You thought about it before nodding slowly.
"Okay." You said softly. Sam smiled warmly at you while Dean just grunted and turned, walking away. You stood up, but winced as you were standing on your cut leg.
"You okay? Do you need me to carry you?" He asked. You shook your head.
"I'm fine. I've had worse than this." You said. You could see in Sam's eyes that he was giving sympathy. Sam led you to the car they pulled up in.
"Nice car." You mumbled. You climbed into the back and sucked in a sharp breath, wincing at the pain. Sam got in next to you with a first aid kit in his hand. Quickly after that, Dean stepped on the gas pedal and you guys were on your way to wherever they lived.
"I need to stitch up those cuts before you lose too much blood." He said. You nodded and watched as he got started on the deepest cut. Soon, you felt tired and closed your eyes. You couldn't sleep though considering he was pouring alcohol on you and it stung like a bitch.
"God, Sam. Why did you let her come with us? She'll hold us back." Dean said. Dean must of thought you were asleep. What he said didn't hurt. He was right.
"How can you be so heartless? She needs help. She's skin and bones. She clearly doesn't have any family. She looks like hell. She needs our help. If you don't want to help her, fine, but I will." Sam said. Dean groaned.
"Now you're making me sound like a villain." Dean grumbled.
"It's because you act like one." You heard Sam say quietly. It was too quiet for his brother to hear. After that, it was quiet and Sam was done treating you. He wrapped up your cuts and bandaged your arms where there were shallow cuts, but not deep enough for Sam to stitch. In the deafening silence, you fell asleep.

~months later~

"Y/N, please eat this." Dean said through the door. Since you have met the Winchesters, you grew on Dean. Sam was like the big brother you never had, but his older brother was a different story. You were in love with Dean, but he didn't know that. Right now, he was trying to get you to eat, but you couldn't. You had an eating disorder and a few weeks after you were with Sam and Dean they figured it out. It wasn't really even a secret considering how much you weigh and how you look. What they don't know is that you're depressed and that you self-harm. You sighed and opened your door.
"I'll try, Dean." You said quietly. You didn't talk much. You didn't hunt with them either. You did help them with research though. You were good at that.
"Thank you." Dean said in relief. You looked at Dean and saw him smiling. You turned away, grabbing the sandwich he brought out of his hand, and closed the door. You locked it and slid down the door to the floor. You sighed. You hated to be around Dean. It was hard for you. When you were forced to, you didn't talk unless you had something important to tell him, such as information for a hunt. You heard Dean sigh and then walk away. You felt tears slip down your cheeks.
"Why am I like this?" You whispered to yourself. You picked at the sandwich, not interested in eating it. You were going to. You really were, but you couldn't. You physically couldn't. You got up and went to your bathroom. You threw the sandwich in the toilet and flushed it. You wiped away your tears and then took a shaky breath. You went to the door and closed it; locking it. You walked to your little closet and opened it. You searched through it before you found the small plastic box with your blades in it. You opened the box and took out a blade.

IF YOU DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH THIS STUFF, PLEASE SKIP!

You grabbed a washcloth and sat down on the floor. You pulled back your sleeve and stared at your arm. Your arm was littered in scars and cuts; old and new. You closed your eyes before opening them and pressed the blade to your wrist. You dragged it across with a gasp. The cut wasn't that deep, but blood seeped out quickly. You sighed in relief. Soon enough your arm was filled with new cuts. Your arm was covered in crimson blood. You switched arms and now both had cuts that were bleeding profusely. The deep, but bright red blood was all over the floor.
"Y/N?!" A voice yelled. It was Dean. He got into your room. You swore to yourself.
"I'll be right out!" You yelled back. You grabbed your washcloth and wrapped your arm up. You reached into the closet and grabbed another washcloth. You winced as you pressed that one to your other arm.
"Dammit." You whispered.
"Y/N, I'm coming in." Dean said. You panicked
"No! Don't! I'll be out in a few!" You yelled, but it was too late. Dean kicked the door in and rushed in. You looked up at Dean with anger and sadness.
"What the hell?! I said I'd be out in a few! Why couldn't you have waited?!" You yelled. Dean just stared.
"Y/N. What- What are you doing? What happened?" He asked quietly. You looked away.
"I'm sorry." You whispered. Dean walked over to you and knelt down beside you. Soon, Sam barged in with a gun, but all he saw was you covered in blood and Dean beside you.
"Y/N. Oh, my god." He whispered. You looked away from the brothers shamefully.

~after they helped you get cleaned up~

You were led back into your room and to your bed. Sam was in the bathroom cleaning up your blood. Dean had been the one to bandage you up.
"I'm sorry, Dean." You whispered again. He shook his head.
"Don't be." He said softly. You looked away. Sam came out of the bathroom.
"Uh, I'll leave you 2 alone, but me and you will talk about this, Y/N." He said and left. It was just you and Dean now.
"Why?" He asked. You sighed.
"I hate myself. I'm ugly. I can't eat anything without wanting to throw it up after. I couldn't even eat that sandwich, Dean! I'm ugly. Way too skinny. I have an eating disorder. I self-harm. I'm fucked up in the head. And I hate all of that. All of it." You told him. Dean pulled you close and wrapped his arms around you.
"There isn't anything wrong with you. You're beautiful just the way you are. You're perfect. Just let me help. Let Sam help. Let Cas and Bobby help. We can get through this together." Dean responded. You smiled a real genuine smile.
"I love you, Dean." You whispered. Half of your hoped he heard you and the other half prayed to God he didn't. You looked up at Dean and saw a smile on his face.
"I love you, too." He said. Your smile widened and you lied your head back down on his chest. Maybe life would get better. Maybe you could get help. Maybe you wouldn't be like this anymore. Maybe, just maybe, you could be happy again.

A/N:

If this wasn't what you wanted, I will rewrite it to your expectations!