Sad Supernatural Imagines

#64 Cas - I Am Nothing

Y/N p.o.v:

Why did he leave me? Was I not good enough? Was I too ugly? Was I too fat? Was I nothing to him? Was my love not enough? These thoughts swam in your mind the minute Castiel ended it. The minute he broke your heart. The minute he decided that your love was worthless. You were in your room thinking back to when Cas broke up with you.

~flashback~

"Y/N, we need to talk." Cas said. You smiled at him, curious as to what he needed to talk about.
"What do'ya wanna talk about, Cas?" You asked sweetly. Cas took a deep breath before hardening his features and locking his jaw. His eyes showed no emotion.
"We can't be together anymore." Cas said. Your smile dropped like a bomb. You stared at him for a long time before looking down.
"Okay, Cas, if-if that's what you want." You whispered brokenly. Cas didn't respond. You heard the flutter of wings and immediately knew he had flown away. You sat in the living room feeling as if at any second, tears would just start to pour out of your eyes and down your cheeks. You heard footsteps.
"Hey, Y/N? We need-" You stopped the deep familiar voice of Dean.
"Not now, Dean. I'm exhausted." You said. Easily masking the pain in your voice and stopping all voice cracks that threatened to give away your heartbreak.
"Oh, well, get some rest." He responded. You nodded and got up, avoiding any eye contact with Dean. You made your way to your room without breaking down, but the minute you shut you door and locked it, it was like a dam had broken and water gushed out of each crack, which eventually turned to giant, gaping holes.

~now~

It was currently around 6 in the morning. You stopped crying after many hours of sobbing your broken heart out. The thoughts - the horrible, mind consuming, yet empty thoughts - raced through your fucked up head. Sam and Dean were already asleep - well, they should be asleep anyway - so that meant you could leave. Leave and never come back. You grabbed your duffle back and started to pack. Suddenly there was a knock on your door.
"Y/N?" Someone called. It was Sam. This was bad. He could always, always tell when something was wrong. You didn't respond in hopes of him thinking you were asleep.
"Come on, Y/N. There is no way you could be asleep at this hour. You're always awake by now." Sam said. You sighed. You walked up to you door and unlocked it, yet didn't open it. You walked back to your bed where your duffle bag was and continued to pack. Your door opened and light shone into your room.
"Y/N, what are you doing? Did you find a hunt or something?" Sam asked. You didn't answer. You just kept putting your belongings into your bag.
"Y/N, answer me." Sam demanded. You spun around and glared at Sam.
"I'm leaving. There, you got your fucking answer." You growled angrily. Sam's face shower nothing, but sadness.
"Why?" He asked. You sighed and looked down at the floor.
"I have no reason to be here anymore, Sam. Cas left me. He left me, Sammy. He didn't even give me an explanation. I just need time; time away from here." You whispered. You heard Sam sigh and then walk over to you. Arms found themselves around your small body.
"Okay, Y/N. Okay. I understand. I just want you to know that I will always be a call away. You need help with anything, I'll be there. Even if it's just someone to talk to." San responded. You nodded and then pushed Sam away. He let go and backed up.
"Goodbye, Sam. Tell Dean why I left." You said.
"Will do. Bye, Y/N." He said. You grabbed your duffle bag and then headed out of your room. You walked down the hall and out of the bunker. You got into your car and started it. You pressed the gas pedal and then sped off. Not knowing where the hell you were going. You grabbed your phone and rolled down your window, throwing your phone out of it. You weren't going back. No matter what happened.

~years later~

"Please! Just kill me!" You screamed at the crossroads demon. You were tired of living. The pressure of saving everyone got to you. The pain of when Cas left you got to you. Everything got to you. All you ever did anymore was drink your pain away. You didn't eat; you hardly even slept.
"And why should I?" The demon asked. Angry tears fell down your cheeks. You were tired and alone. You didn't want to be here anymore. Hell seemed like a much more appealing place to you.
"Because I know how badly you want me dead. How every single fucking demon and monster wants me dead! So just fucking kill me and get it over with!" You screamed. The demon smirked and thought about it. After what seemed like forever, the demon finally spoke.
"No. See, you're too vulnerable. You want to die. You're suicidal basically. The easiest thing to do if you wanna die is kill yourself. It's simple." The demon said. Then, he disappeared. You collapsed to the ground and sobbed. You screamed in frustration. You grabbed your whiskey bottle and threw it. The sound of glass shattering echoed in the night. You stood up and looked at the sky. You threw your hands up like you were in disbelief.
"Just fucking kill me already dammit! Please!" You screamed. Suddenly, there was a roar from a car that you knew all too well. You looked at the distorted figure of the impala and squinted your eyes. The headlights were blinding.
"Y/N?!" A familiar voice yelled. You turned around and sprinted into the woods, ignoring the calls of your name that followed.
"Y/N!" Dean yelled. You ignored the voice once again and continued to run. You ran until you tripped over a large tree root. You grunted as you fell to the ground. You hit your head off of a stone and that's when everything went back.

~days later~

You woke up to the annoying beeping noise. You jolted awake, eyes snapping open. You looked around the hospital room and saw that there was no one in there. You looked at your arm and saw the IV in it. You tore it out and threw your legs over the bed. You stood up, stumbling a little before regaining your balance. You walked to the door and opened it, but ran into someone.
"What the hell? Y/N! Get back in the goddamn bed!" Someone yelled. Why did they sound familiar?
"How-How do you know my name?" You asked. You looked up at the tall man.
"It's me. Dean-Dean Winchester?" The man said. You looked down and thought over the name. Son of a bitch. That's when it came to you. You ran from Sam and Dean when they saw you drunk and yelling at the sky.
"Well, fuck me." You whispered.
"Sorry, Sweetheart. Imma have to pass on that. You aren't doing so well right now." Dean said. You glanced up at him with a frown.
"What do you mean? I'm fine, Dean." You said. Dean rolled his eyes and pushed you back to your bed.
"And I'm a fucking unicorn. Don't give me those bullshit lies. I'm the expert on bullshit lies. You can't out bullshit a bullshitter, Y/N." Dean said. You stared at him wondering why the fuck you understood that nonsense.
"Um, when do I get out?" You asked. Dean looked down and then back up at you, but with a different expression.
"Y/N, I, uh, I don't know if they'll let you out." Dean said. You looked at him in confusion.
"What? Why?" You asked frantically. Dean sighed.
"Because they had to put you in the mental ward, Y/N. You have a drinking problem and you're suicidal." Dean whispered. You froze. Mental ward. Drinking problem. Suicidal. You didn't respond to Dean for a long time. It could have been seconds or hours, you didn't know.
"Get out." You said in a monotone.
"Y/N-" You interrupted Dean.
"I said get out!" You shrieked. Dean scurried out of your room, closing the door on his way out. You stood there in aggravation.
"I am nothing. I'm nothing to anyone, but a depressed, suicidal, girl with a fucking drinking problem." You told yourself. You had one thought on your mind and that was to get out of here as quickly as possible so you could find Castiel and figure out why you weren't enough. Why you were nothing to him.

A/N:

No I will not be making a part 2, but here is this. It isn't very good considering its 1 in the goddamn morning, but it's something for you smoll beans. Anyway, I'll try and update ASAP!