A I worth saving? book 2 of save me usagi .

Chapter 14: Fallen Angel ...

Misaki's P.O.V...

 Everything was dark. I was floating in a black abyss and could only hear the world around me...

"... CLEAR..." a shock ran through my body. What was going on? Nothing made sense, I don't remember anything. Guess that makes sens. These days I don't remember anything that happens to me or who I am anymore. Its just one big blur to me.

 The only memory I have is of my parents funeral. That day killed me and still haunts me to this day. Its all my fault...

 If only I didn't ask them to rush home then they'd still be here. Big brother wouldn't hate me and maybe I wouldn't be so fucked up... Nothing ever goes my way, may be that's why I'm here... My life is meant to be dark and empty for the rest of my life...

 But what about the person I love. Damn it whats there name? All I can remember is there amethyst eyes that pull me into a trance each and every time. God whats there fucking name?! I want to be with them and make them happy, even if my own life is shit. If I can make them happy then my life would've meant something and maybe I'd make my parents proud! 

 Everything around me began to fade out, become a blur like the sun on the ocean. Maybe my life does mean something... Maybe I am meant for something. God what's there fucking name!

 "... CLEAR.." another wave of shock. Wait... am I in a hospital?

 ".. MISA..." that voice, it sounds so familiar to me, it's someone I know, but who?

I hate not knowing anything, pisses me off so much, like not knowing this fucking persons name! Maybe if I just opened my eyes I'd know who they are, hopefully.

 Slowly, my eyes open to be faced with a blurry outline of a face. Who's is that?

 " Oh Misa...k" there voice faded out. Speak up I can't hear you!

 Nothing but numbness is all I felt, and all I wanted to do was grab this persons hand or make contact with there skin so I knew I was alive... That I was breathing, that they were real and that I was real...

 There hand came to my face first. The feel of a warm hand grazed my cheek, filling me with warmth and tears. This was my lover and I knew who it was. It was Usagi. My one and only lover who stole my heart and I don't want it back. He's been by my side through everything over the years. Even though we don't get on sometimes, he's always been there for me and has never turned away from me, never broken my heart and I haven't broken his. I wouldn't dare. 

However, I've got a feeling his love is going to be tested this year again. I can't form a sentence nor move my body. God I'm useless aren't I? No! I can't think about that in a time like this.

 My sight became clearer and his face comes into focus. Tear stained cheeks but a smile of relief sat on his face. That smile always got to me. God I love this man with all that I am.

 "welcome back Misaki" he faintly said. He was stressed but relieved. You could hear it in his voice. He must've broken down. Looks like I've gotta make it up to him at some point. Wonder what I should do? Something special I think.

 ONE HOUR LATER...

So I've finally finished doing series of tests and I'm pooped. Nowaki thought it was necessary to do it and I've still got no idea to why. There was a physio which I think I did good at considering I could wiggle my toes and wrote my name on a white board, could see and could form a sentence.  Guess he just wanted to be a pain in the ass. However, I don't know why Usagi has such a pained expression on his face/ a look of sadness on his face. I'm completely fine, right?

 Nowaki walked in with one of those clip boards like doctors do with the same expression as Usagi and Hiro. God whats up with them lot?

" I'm sorry Usagi... Misaki..." His head hung low " I'ts great he has feeling in his legs and can support his own weight for a short amount of time, with a bit of physio he should be able to walk fully by himself in maybe six months. Maybe less or maybe more. But... his speech isn't there neither his writing. He can't write his own name. It comes out as a few lines..." 

 What? No this is wrong... Those aren't my results... They can't be...

 "We won't know till we start therapy if he'll be able to talk or write like he used to again and this may take years in order to have him be able to do the things he once could"

 No this isn't how my life's gonna be. I won't allow it! This can't be how my story ends. I just need to form one word. One fucking word to prove Nowaki and everyone wrong. I will prove them wrong. Results on a piece of paper don't dictate what I can do!

 ".... N..." Everyone turned to look at me. C'mon Misaki, you can do this. You have to! 

"...N..n.." Usagi comes over and holds my hand. His warm hands. They make everything feel alright. "Misaki, don't waist your strength... please" he begged. I'm sorry hon, this time I wont listen...

" NO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, coughing hard after that. Damn that hurt.

 Everyone looked gobsmacked. Looks like I proved a point. I wont settle for those results. Not now, not ever.

 "Nowaki," Usagi began, " Hiro, we all know Misak won't settle for that. He knows he can bring himself back, and not some trauma will stop him" they all smiled and looked at me, showing the same determined expression I held. If I wasn't giving up, they weren't giving up, that's just how we work together, no other way.

 Like big brother always told me...

 Fight for what you want...