That weird kind of feeling

0.05

(WARNING! DEPRESSION AND SELF HARM)

It hurt. The painful nausea making my head spin as I ran through the rain with my eyes watering. My messy brown hair flattened against my scalp and face. I coughed and spluttered as I sobbed, my purple cardigan stuck to my clothes as my white shirt stuck to my skin.

Why? Why me? Why did everyone leave me? That asshole! That prick! This is why I don't trust people! I stumbled to a brick wall and slammed my fist against it, my body sliding down to the concrete as I put my head in my hands, the cold rain pelting down on my back. How would I show my face at school? How could I show my face at all? I was humiliated, I let my guard down, he got in! He knew everything! He betrayed my trust!

I stood slowly, shaking as I stumbled towards the mansion where my parents lived on the main street. My body ached as I pulled out my key for the gate and clicked the button. A little red light blinked as the gates creaked and cracked open. I didn't let them open far as I slid through and hit the button again to close it.

I stumbled towards the front door and fumbled with the key to try and get inside, hands shaking, body shaking. That prick, that asshole, how could he.

I didn't get the chance to open the door as it opened in front of me. "Ichi?" A familiar voice asked and I looked up to my older brother choro, his glasses resting on his nose, a book in his hand as his hair fell into one eye. "What the hell happened to you little bro?"

I shoved past him and tried to run past. I was caught by Kara who stood behind him. He'd recently cut his hair into a Mohawk, pierced his ad and gotten a tattoo. Really keen to be a cool guy apparently. He was wearing a band shirt and ripped skinny jeans as he held my shoulder and looked down to me. "Ichi?" He asked and I struggled to get out of his grip.

"Let go of me you shitty matsu!" I yelled and heard someone come thudding down the stairs. Oso came to us and I instantly stopped struggling, staring at the ground as the tears fell and slumped against Kara. There was no point in hiding it. The other five would beat the truth from me if they had to.

"Shou cheated on me..." I mumbled against Kara's chest.

Kara didn't seem to know what to do... he just hugged me. He was awkward as hell. He was always extremely awkward with me. Probably because he was waiting for me to spin around and kick him in the face.

"He did what?!" Choro asked and oso came over and put his hand on my shoulder. I just hid my face in Karas chest. Oh yes. I was humiliated.

"Oso can you just." Kara held my shoulders and turned me into osos red jumper. I peeked over as he walked towards the front door but totty appeared out of nowhere and stood in front of him, hands on his chest.

"Beating the crap out of people doesn't make things better! Plus stupid you can't fight for shit." He rolled his eyes.

A tap on my shoulder made me turn to look at jyushi. He held out a bowl of icecream and I sighed softly and forced a slight smile as a thank you. Taking it and bowing my head slightly as I did so.

"Bastard should pay for what he did." Kara snapped.

"Get ahold of yourself Kara you're no hero just an idiot!" Oso snapped and I just walked to my room, bowl of icecream in hand. I sat on my bed and leant back against the wall, kicking my shoes off. I'd sneak them to the door later when mum and dad wouldn't see.

I needed a shower, dry clothes, and my cat. Wherever he ran off to... I looked up at the cat kingdom, it looked so comfortable and inviting right now, to be huddled up in a small warm box with a pillow... safe and warm...