That weird kind of feeling

12.0

Okay, gotta clear my mind. I'm pregnant. Okay... not great. And it's shou's... fuck.

"Ichi?!"

I inhaled deeply trying to regain control of my mind, my heard racing in my chest as I shook violently. I was pregnant, why? Why me? It was such a slim chance for me to get pregnant! It said so in the book! Why me? Why now?

"Ichi if you don't answer me in five seconds I'm breaking the door down!" He yelled and I snapped out of it. I had to keep this from Kara. Main priority. If he knew he'd put an end to this trip and freak out. So he could go on not knowing for now.

"Three, two-"

"I'm fine! Sorry I was kinda passed out on the floor..." I lied, it was believable. "It's nice and cold in here I wanted to lay down... I guess I locked the door out of habit..." as I was saying this, I wrapped the pregnancy test in layer upon layer of toilet paper, and then shoved it in an empty toilet roll, putting it in the bin. I walked out of the bathroom carelessly and past him to the food.

"What did you get me?" I asked sitting at the table crossing my legs. He smiled worriedly and put a box of small cut sushi on the table in front of me. It said on the box it was tuna with avocado and cucumber. I couldn't help but smile. "You know me too well karamatsu..." I was drooling at the sight of it.

The pregnancy would explain a lot of things. How emotional I was, how moody I was, how hungry I was, the sleeplessness I had... it made so much sense...

I begun eating the sushi hoping that I'd keep it down, it tasted amazing. I smiled and scoffed it down soon finishing, once I finished my food I gulped down the viramin water Kara had gotten me.

Kara wasn't even half done with his sushi when I was finished the lot. "So I was thinking we leave as soon as possible!" I smile and Kara choked on the teriaki chicken he'd been chewing on. He gave me a wide eyed look as I just gave him a blank expression.

"Ichi, you're still ill..."

"I feel fine. I really just want to get back to finding my father..."

"Not until I'm sure you're better..."

"Well I am! Come on first thing tomorrow we are leaving!" I decided and stood.

"Well I guess I better get you some new clothes then... we are running low on money Ichi..." he sighed. "I'm getting worried we won't make it to your father..."

"We will! How much do we have left!"

"Only enough to get the rest of the way to this place, then we are stranded. We should just use the money to go home.." Kara looked at me and I glared at him. "Or not... I'm just worried about your health here ichi... something's up with you..."

"The only thing that's up with me is that I wand do find my father. I didn't ask you to come with me! I came on this trip to get away from you! My heart can't keep going on with this continuous bipolar relationship where one minute you are all over me and kissing me like you care, and then the next we are sitting silently on a train pretending it never happened! It's killing me inside! I am in pain! I was going to leave for you! So you could have your stupid bimbo girlfriend and I could be erased from your memory!" I was crying again, and I didn't care. I just walked around and grabbed all my stuff. "I'm going to buy a train ticket. Do what you want Kara.." I sobbed as I pulled on a pair of slacks and ran out the door.

"Ichi!"

I kept running tears rolling fine my cheeks, I ran to the train station and walked up to the front desk, tears rolling down my cheeks. I felt strong arms wrap around me. "Two tickets to the rice patties out side kyoto..." a voice said and I looked behind me to see Kara had his arms around me tightly.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed and he looked at me.

"I already told you... you're not going through this alone... I'm staying with you until you find your father at least." He took the tickers and lead me back to the chairs to wait. "I'm making sure you're safe..."

"But you don't love me... why do you insist on hurting me..." I sobbed hugging my knees. He didn't answer completely, he just kissed my temple and held me close, I didn't bother arguing anymore. I just felt like crap and knew this baby wasn't helping.

"Come on this is our train ichi..." Kara stood and helped me up, and we boarded the train.