Seven Kingdoms: by Nightblaze2657
Remember, these are just my personal opinions, and feel free to argue against me or agree with me on any points I make.
Alright, so, the introduction. It starts off strong. We get to see Princess Rhianna and what she is like. A rebel princess more or less. Likes fighting, not being royal, all that stuff.
Then you lose me. I'm very confused as to how King Terran could just take over a queendom so quickly. Like, he just shows up, and bam it's his. You state later that Arcadia has one of the strongest militaries. So, why was it defeated so easily? It just kinda.........fell over.
Overall body. Grammar and spaces were good. Correct grammar and punctuation and nice dialogue. But during the overall body, I just have only one thing: the conflict. The conflict in the story was just so fast. Like, the conflict would begin, then two paragraphs later it was resolved. Without so much as bloodshed. Rhianna and her party are travelling all over the country, yet they don't see any guards or patrols. They meet the Goblin King, Ryan fights his champion, and comes out without so much a scratch.
The vampires, engages with them, and barely half a page later, they aren't a problem anymore. Again, without so much a scratch. So on and so forth.
There also isn't much evidence that King Terran is a bad guy. Like, yeah, he took over a queendom, but before the the later chapters, there's nothing. No piles of slaughtered bodies, no pathways lined with crucifixions, no burning villages. He kinda is just......bad.
I do like the setting though. It's very cool. It makes me question whether it's a dystopia Earth future, or just an alternate reality. Very exciting to read about.
The characters are alright for the most part. All very different and unique. And I like them all except, uh, Rhianna. She's just kinda stale. Nothing but morals and justice. No real flaws, no other emotions, that's kinda it for her.
Summary
Pros
Good grammar
Good spacing
Well done dialogue
Clever and unique setting for world
Cons
Very fast introduction
The whole conflict thing
The whole King Terran thing
The whole Rhianna thing
So, if you're looking for a new world that is unique and full of adventure and mystery to it, then Seven Kingdoms has the setting for you.
YOU ARE READING
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