One Of Us by: lacy_says
Remember, these are just my opinions. Feel free to argue with or disagree with any point I make.
Disclaimer: I have never seen Black Butler. So take this how you will.
Let's begin. While the first chapter is rather strong, I feel as though it starts off a little fast. Like, one moment the characters are doing nothing. Then bam, the Queen of England is there. And then she's gone. Maybe just like an additional chapter to set up the characters would help slow down the pace. It's not super fast, but maybe just like a road bump to give the reader a moment to ease into the story.
The overall body is reality fine. Correct grammar, spacing, punctuation. I think again it's just a matter of overall pacing. It's rather fast, and could use maybe something to slow it down. I don't know if that's just additional chapters before reaching any major points in the book, or whatever. That's kinda for you to decide.
The characters seem good. Again, never watched Black Butler so I can't really say otherwise. Though it would be nice to see more of their thoughts(personal opinion). Seems as thought their actions are pretty cut and dry. Getting to see their inner thoughts might help connect the reader to the story as well. But overall the characters and dialogue are good.
Summary
Pros:
Good grammar
Spacing
Punctuation
Good characters and dialogue
Cons:
Fast paced
Cut and dry actions from characters
If being a Butler is what you're all about, then read One Of Us to see what it truly means to call yourself a Butler.
YOU ARE READING
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