Hood's Book Reviews (closed)

Thief

Thief: by buggbugglk

Remember, these are just my personal opinions, and feel free to argue with or agree with any points I make.

Hey Lauren! You're up in the reviews! 

So, like most of the other books I've done, strong introduction. We see Ivy right away as a character, and see how she likes to roll. A strong, bad ass woman.

Now, most of the things I have to say are the comments I've left before, so I won't really go into those that much. But I do have a few other things to point out. 

First, in your first chapter, kinda the same advice you gave me. Spread out that info, let your reader get sucked into her world, not letting them know most of it right away. Though, since you've got three chapters - minus the prologue -, not that much to go off of in terms of giving more info. So, yeah.

The next thing is more personal opinion, but less of the word smirk. I like how wattpad writers find this word a go to. It's, in all honesty, not that great a word. Smirk is a word I like to think that leans more towards a teen fic writer, and the story you're writing doesn't really feel like a teen fic, but more for adults(or at least young adults). 

Another thing, but this is small, is take out any literal writing of 'bad boy'. I forget where this was, but I saw it in there. You aren't writing a bad boy, good girl teen fiction chicklit. This is big boy and girl literature. And all of your characters are these gritty, bad people, who live a life full of crime. One character can't be described as a 'bad boy' if they are all bad guys.

Final thing I have to point out is less of the vivid eye descriptions in term of color. They're eyes, not paintings of great art. I can barely remember what I write, much less what color someone's eyes are five chapters after someone talks about them. 

I do love the type of story this is though. A crime organization, one with people who are willing to do whatever it takes to get what they want. Different for wattpad, which makes it far more interesting than basically every other story. 

The characters are solid. All feel unique and special, set in their place in the story, ready to do what is necessary. I personally like crazy Richard. Fun dude. I'd take him to a party.

Summary

Pros: 

Strong introduction

Bad ass characters

Good setting for a story

Crazy Richard, or Sick Dick

Cons:

Those previous comments

The spreading out of info

The word smirk

Vivid eye descriptions 

If any of you want to read about a daring thief who has zero chill and wants to kick ass, then stop by Thief, and have yourself a good time.