Shadows Peak by: SpratleyMac
Remember, these are just my opinions. Feel free to argue with or disagree with any points I make.
So, let's begin with the introduction. While the first chapter is really good, I think the prologue is more telly than showy. It's sorta 'here's what exactly what happened, with no room for anything else'. It seems just too narrow in scope for me, personally. Chapter one though is a very good set up to the rest of the story. We see the main character set up nicely, and the world she lives in (though I think there might be too much description on hair).
The overall body is fine. I didn't see anything wrong with grammar, spacing, or dialogue. The pacing is good, I like that you don't flip POV's in the middle of the chapter and keep to one POV per chapter. Keeps things looking clean and well organized. The story setting is unique, I like the weird Romeo-Juliet plot that story seems to be going. One thing that bugs me, not really a critique, but why wouldn't the East just blame the West for the bombing, instead on Sydney? Kinda a missed opportunity on their part I think.
There's nothing else I really have to say. A good story overall, nothing that I haven't really noticed. I suppose if you wanted to continue to grow your story, more diversity could be added. Other than that I got nothing.
Summary:
Pros:
Good setting
Strong intro
Correct grammar and spacing
Nice pacing
Cons:
The prologue
The lack of diversity
If you want to find your destiny, go to Shadows Peak. There, you will either find the truth, or die trying.
YOU ARE READING
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