Hood's Book Reviews (closed)

The Other Universe

The Other Universe: by @Rebel_Born

Remember, these are just my personal opinions. Feel free to agree with or argue against me on any points I make.

So, the introduction is good. I like the characteristics that you give Mr. Ahmed. Well, I actually don't like characters that are all 'technology bad and old days good', but since this is Wattpad, it's a good change in pace in terms of characters. You then jump right into the plot, and it all flows relatively well from there.

The overall body is well done. The pacing is decent, and grammar and spacing are correct. I don't know if this is intentional, but I really liked the randomness of the story. It was just like, ope we're on one adventure, then to the next and the next, and it worked great. Zayn and Mr. Ahmed have no lack of crazy adventures.

Though, I do have two things to point out. First is, to many exclamation points. I'd tone down on many of them. Because after a while, they just start losing their effect, and I no longer felt the excitement, because the characters were just excited all the time.

The other thing is you could use the word 'said' more. I get that it's appealing to replace the word said with other adjectives, but when you use one after the other in quick succession, it just feels off putting. Real conversations don't have people 'declaring' and 'prodding' all that often. People just talk. And using the word 'said' will help make dialogue feel smoother and more realistic.

I do like the mystery to it to, like why the heck did Mr. Ahmed just teleport to another universe. And one that's kinda wacky and fun as this one.

Summary

Pros:

Good grammar and spaces

Good introduction

Fun characters

Decent pacing

Cool setting

Cons:

Lack of 'said'

Too many exclamation points

So, if you're looking for a wacky adventure with really cool characters, then hop on into Mr. Ahmed's universe. He can run, and is ready for action.