Fate: by Leighannxx
Remember, these are just my personal opinion and feel free to argue with or agree with me.
Alright, let's begin. The introduction is good, but I'm kinda confused what kind of world this is. It kinda just......talks about the world, but those details are very minimal. You mention different races, yet we don't know if those are it, or if there are more we should know about. It has a good beginning, yet maybe just a little more.
The overall body is strong. Though you only have four parts, there isn't much to go off on in terms of entire plot and setting. The grammar and spacing are good for the most part. A few small things, but nothing critical. I'm sorta confused about these gods. Are they like, pop stars in this world? I kinda wasn't sure, but again, I didn't have enough to conclude that. They are famous, yet they are these powerful gods. Why concern yourself with going down into the lives of mortals?
You could probably use less exclamation points. Just a few to many.
The weird woman in the chapter Deceit had me confused. She just popped up, was never named, then left. Bam, poof, gone.
Also, is the book the compendium capitalized? Like, is this a 'Bible' esk book, or more like a guide type thing?
Overall, well done. I like the characters, Chaos my favorite, because who doesn't like those types of characters? They feel like real, relatable people. Or gods. Whatever.
Summary
Pros:
Strong introduction
Strong grammar and spacing
Great setting and characters
Cons:
The confusing beginning, gods, and woman
The compendium thing
A few to many exclamation points
A great story! A fantasy world for those who like gods, different races, and magic. If you want to get into a story that has tons to offer, then check out Fate. And see what yours has to offer.
YOU ARE READING
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