My Bad Boy Alpha by: sirenix2018
Remember, these are just my opinions. Feel free to agree with or argue with any points I make.
So, to start out, the introduction is kinda.......weak. Mainly because it doesn't really set up the world at all, or transition to set up the world. It's just like 'here's a girl, here's her mate, lol that's all you need to know'. I mean, we do get to know Dawn's family, but for being the daughter of an Alpha, who is in charge of pack, we don't get to see any more pack members. Unless pack is synonymous for family. Which would be a pretty weak pack. It needs some more world building.
The overall body has some issues too. For starters, there are a lot of run on sentences. When five or six paragraphs are literally five or six sentences, then that's a good sign there needs to be more periods to help break it up. You're also missing either a period or comma at the end of many dialogue sentences.
I also don't get the characters. While they're all rather bland and don't really have much in terms of depth, why is it that Dawn calls Heather a slut all the time? From what I read, she's done nothing slutty. And aren't there better words to use to insult a woman instead of just repeating slut? Like, feel free to mix it up.
Yeah. The characters defiantly need some work.
Summary:
Pros:
Correct grammar
Good spacing
Cons:
Everything mentioned above
If you're down for a girl falling for her mate, then you've come to the right place. Head over to My Bad Boy Alpha, and enjoy the romance that will soon be blossoming.
YOU ARE READING
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