Pocket Dragons by: NovaEraKitty
Remember, these are just my opinions. Feel free to argue with me or agree with me on any points I make.
Alright, let's begin. So, I'd say your introduction is pretty strong. I like the set up to the world you've created, and the dragons you've made. It's clever seeing the world through the eyes of dragons, and the mystery that you begin it with is rather attention grabbing. I'd say maybe if you want to improve even more is add more to your chapter lengths.
The overall body is well done. The grammar, spacing, and dialogue for the most part is correct. I think the switching between dragons is a good idea to showcase your world. Each new pair of eyes lets us see how each dragon looks at the world around them, at interact with it. My only thing with this is maybe have an easier way to indicate what dragon POV it is at the beginning of each chapter. Otherwise good job.
I don't really have much more to say. Your story is good, and I like the fantasy and mystery added to your world. If there's anything you wanted me to address, please ask.
Summary:
Pros:
Most of the story
Cons:
The POV thing
Chapter lengths
If you believe that dragons deserve to be small, then check out Pocket Dragons, for they see things that others wish they could.
YOU ARE READING
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