My Name Is Alexander [LAMS]

Rip It Off

John had thought Alex was getting better, he really did. (Maybe he only hoped that he was getting better, and made himself believe he actually believed it). But then the next day at school he had that sour look on his pretty face again. He looked exhausted, lost, hollow. He remembered a few months ago when they were walking home from school, he had the exact same face.

He had also said the exact same words.

But this time John knew better than believe that he was okay.

John decided it would be a good idea to spend their lunch break at the rooftop, just like the old days before they found the Slut-Shaming Club. He just wanted his Babyboy to be okay, it physically pained him to only think about how much his poor baby must be hurting.

"Lex" He whispered, breaking the bittersweet silence. The small boy hummed in response, his eyes still fixated in the sky.

"I know you're not okay, baby" He tried to keep his voice low, tender, he didn't want to scare Alex off, or god forbid him, make him think he was mad at him. He could never,  never, be mad at that angel of a boy.

For a few seconds everything stayed quiet once more, John thought Alex was ignoring him, or maybe his voice was too low and he didn't get to listen. But when he turned his head around he saw his face, Alexander's beautiful face stained with sour, salty tears as he bit his lip, trying to not sob.

"Oh, Alex, baby" He gently took the fragile boy in his arms, hugging him strongly but tenderly. He cradled him lightly and kissed the tears away from his rosy cheeks.

"I want to rip my damn skin off" He said in a faint whisper so hushed John almost missed it.

He kissed the crown of his head, his hair, his temple, his forehead, and the side of his head lovingly. "But if you do so I won't be able to kiss your soft skin, Babyboy" He said gently.

Alex laughed faintly and buried his head on John's warm chest, relaxing instantly at the sound of his steady and soothing heartbeat. "You're such a dork" The boy muttered.

"Yah, but I'm your dork"

Alex giggled. "Shut up"

"Your laugh is so cute Peach" He cooed.

"It's not" Alex refuted.

"It is"

"It is not"

"It" He kissed his cheek". "Is" And then pecked him on the mouth, making him blush instantly.

Alex whined and hid on John's shirt, trying to not smile. He felt guilty, he was supposed to feel bad today, why was he suddenly feeling so happy?

So loved?

"I don't deserve you" He murmured, and it's true. He didn't deserve John, lovely, beautiful, caring, alive, tender, loving John. He didn't deserve his smile, his kisses nor his gentle touches. He didn't deserve his pure heart. He didn't deserve to be harassed for hanging out with Alex.

He deserved so much better.

"You deserve everything that's good on this world Babyboy. And maybe I can't give everything to you, but I'll give you all my love"

"John" He sobbed.

This boy was too perfect to be true.