Langst One-Shots

Langst Eleven (Part Two) - They Can't Fix Me

Lance woke up in Keith's small room hours later, the lights off and his only company being Keith's jacket. He rolled over and pulled the covers closer to his chest.

"Lance, are you up?" Keith turned on the lights and sat down next to him.

"No." He groaned, shielding his eyes from the light. Keith laughed and hastily turned them off, leaving them in semi-darkness.

"Everyone's back. They were kinda worried, so I told them you were just sleeping. Are you okay?" Keith gently laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah... I'm okay." He lied, pulling the covers off. He sat up and pulled Keith into a hug. "Hey are you...?" Lance looked at his shirt on Keith's chest. It looked kinda nice. Keith's cheeks turned a light shade of red.

"Uh, you can have it back if you-"

"No, it, uh, it suits you." Lance smiled and put a hand on Keith's shoulder. "I have others, anyway."

°•°

Lance sat in the red lion, his arms folded and tears streaking down his face. "I know you've accepted me, but why? I'll never be as good as Keith. I don't know why blue rejected me. I don't know why you wanted me. I just don't know!" He curled up in a ball. Red purred softly.

"I can't be the paladin they want me to be, though!" Lance cried hitting his fist on the pilot chair. "I can't be the right paladin for blue, or for my team, or even for you. You probably want Keith back." Red purred again, this time seeming somewhat angry.

"Lance, what's going on?" Keith entered the red lion's hangar, a confused expression on his face and the black Bayard in his hand. Red opened her mouth and let Lance tumble out carefully onto the floor.

"I'm bonding with red." Lance said, knowing that it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth.

"Ah, ok. Red kind of called for me... She, well, you, seemed upset." Keith scratched his neck and started to leave.

"Hey, uh, wait!" Lance called, bringing himself to his feet. He took a moment to dust off his armor before running over to the original red paladin.

"What is it?"

"Can I, uh, train with you?" Lance smiled nervously. "Please?"

"Uh, sure." Keith turned and led Lance down the hall towards the training deck.

°•°

Lance wiped his brow. Keith had left to go to bed hours ago, making Lance promise he wouldn't overwork himself. He had promised, knowing he would break it.

He had decided much earlier that if the prince whose specialty seemed to be healing people's minds couldn't fix him, then he couldn't be fixed.

He finished the last level that he would ever attempt and shut down the training system. He took off his armor and laid it next to his Bayard.

"I'm sorry." He whispered to nobody. He wouldn't give them the burden of having to take care of his body. He walked down the halls on the lower decks of the castle towards the airlocks - towards his airlock. The one that Keith had saved him from all those months ago.

Had it really been that long? It must have been. He had changed so much... He wondered if his family would recognize him if they saw him now. Probably not.

Lance took a deep breath as he pulled out his notepad. His hands shook as he wrote his final note.

“I'm sorry. I know how hard you guys tried to be friends with me, how hard you tried to help me. But I don't help the team. I never have. I am no help to this universe, and no matter how hard they try, they don't help me. They can't fix me. They just can't.”

Lance taped the note to the wall next to the airlock and opened the first door.

"Airlock opening in thirty ticks." The castle informed him. By this time of morning, he knew that Coran and Shiro might be awake. Even if they were, they would be too late.

"Ten..."

He was ready. He knew not to take a breath before it happened, or his lungs would explode.

"Nine..."

He would be in a lot of pain for about fifteen seconds before he passed out.

"Eight..."

It was far too late to turn back now.

"Seven..."

He was only a seventh wheel. He didn't matter.

"Six..."

Lance took his last breath of air.

"Five..."

He tried not to think of his family. What they would think, what they would say.

"Four..."

There would be just enough paladins now, one for each lion.

"Three."

He would see the stars. He loved the stars.

"Two..."

He brushed a tear from his cheek.

"One..."

Lance let out his last breath of air.

“Airlock opening.”