Langst One-Shots

Langst Twenty-Four - Where Is He?

Part two to the Spiderman one will come after this :)

This one is short and has main character death/mentions of suicide.

Why wasn't he enough?

Why was Shiro yelling at him?

He had only tried to save Pidge! She had been surrounded and without her Bayard! It wasn't his fault she was shot, his was to his credit that she wasn't dead!

But Shiro didn't know that. Nobody did, except for Pidge, but she was passed out and in a healing pod. So he was forced to take the lecture the black paladin was giving him with nobody to back him up or stand up for him.

"I'm sorry." He kept muttering, over and over and over. Shiro either didn't hear or didn't care. He just kept saying how Lance should work harder, that maybe it wasn't all his fault, but that he could've gotten Pidge out unscathed if he was stronger.

"Shiro, he really did try his best." Coran stepped in after a few minutes.

"But my best wasn't good enough. I get it." Lance flashed a fake smile, praying that the tears wouldn't start falling, that he would be able to keep up his façade...

He was crumbling, though. He took a deep breath and walked slowly from the room, trying not to show anyone that he was nervous, that he was on the verge of tears.

He needed a hug so badly...

°•°

He just couldn't do this any longer. He knew that he wasn't getting any better, that he was long past getting better.

He didn't want to give up, but he had tried for so long. Not only had he been battling the Galra, but he was also battling a particularly severe case of depression. It was hard for him to even get up some mornings, not to mention get up to face teammates who didn't know how hard it was for him to keep going every day.

He picked up a crisp piece of paper and a pen and began to write.

Dear Paladins,

Maybe I'm not the right pick for the team. I... I hope you can find someone better. It won't be hard, practically anyone is better than me.

I'm sorry I failed you guys...

Lance stuck the note just outside the airlock. He used to be scared of the airlock, but... He was tired of being scared.

He was so, so tired of being scared.

°•°

Shiro had fucked up.

He was supposed to be the leader.

He was just an asshole with a cool arm, wasn't he?

He had driven a person to suicide. Someone who had once called him a hero was now dead because of him.

Someone that he loved as a brother, someone who was closer to him than anyone else he'd met on Earth was dead because of his careless actions.

What was he going to do? He couldn't tell the others... The others would hate him. He hated himself, couldn't believe he had done something so horrible.

Lance needed to be motivated, not scolded. Even though Shiro just wanted him to do better, he had made him believe he wasn't good enough.

°•°

Pidge stumbled out of the healing pod and yawned.

"Hey, Pidge." Shiro caught her, being the only one in the room.

"Hey, Shiro. Where's everyone else?"

"Uh... I can go get them."

"Ok. Hey, could you get Lance first? I need to thank him."

"W-why?" Shiro could feel his stomach doing summersaults. He had fucked up so bad, and if his suspicions were correct, he had fucked up to a level of fucking up that didn't even exist for him yet.

"He saved my life on the mission. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here! So, where is he?" Pidge asked, scratching the back of her neck.

Shiro took a deep breath. He couldn't say this, but he had to, he had to, it was his fault. All his fault.

"Lance is dead."